Cherry - Comments

I really loved this piece! It was short, but still told a story quite well. The details were amazing! I felt chills and butterflies along with the main character as you described them sneaking out and doing teenage antics.

You and your older, more fun-loving friends are hauled down to the local station, and you’ve got a new knot tying itself in your stomach.

That line sold me on this piece. It was a fantastic way to end this piece!

Overall this piece reminded me of my first job, hanging out with the older workers, and doing stuff with them to fit in.

Great job writing such a wonderful piece!

I really enjoyed the quick, train-of-thought (kind of?) style of writing you employed. It’s worth mentioning that I loved the line, “and you’ve got a new knot tying itself in your stomach” That was a pretty badass way to end it. Overall the story itself didn’t do much for me. The issue itself didn't dredge up any emotions…However that may be a personal preference issue. I tend to read longer texts, so after such a short one I felt I didn’t get anything out of it.

Regardless, I think you did a good job.
I hope this was helpful. All the best.