I've been subscribed for a while now but haven't gotten a chance to properly catch up until today and yes, this is amazing and I'm quite content with having stumbled unto this.
The short chapters are excellent and hits hard, loving the format and writing style, but you should know that already since I'm also a fan of your "Heroes Exist"
The best part about these chapters is there's a feeling of those little moments you remember about your day. It doesn't have to be much, but it's enough to make you smile, you know. That's the feeling I get with these chapter. It makes me want to do the same, to make little quips about things that happened during my day
I just really can't not like this. The way it's like a subtle kick to the gut. I have really high hopes for this. I just can't stop reading and rereading it. AGH
Jesus. I just hate this feeling. You know that one I tried to describe earlier. It's that same feeling. Mixed with the fact that I no longer have a stomach. It is somewhere in space. It's caused by every single word that you write. I don't know what to equate it to. There's just something so haunting in every single chapter, every word. And that's what I love about this story. It's so difficult to describe, and I hate that I can't, because you deserve to know that I'm feeling something immense from your writing.
Well of course we'd enjoy it your managing to grab me and a bunch of other people just by writing a few words the fact that we can(or at least I can)see everything in our heads Is amazing like really i wish i had that talent but it's not easy with a mind as jumbled as mine but nevertheless this is quite wonderful
Wow, this story is so amazing. I just picked it up and I didn't want to stop reading. I wanted more. It's like, don't stop writing this, because this is so freaking amazing. It also struck a familiar nerve inside me that, at first, I felt offended (similar situations and attitudes surrounding). But then I realized that I was only offended because this is personal. For you, and for me in a way. It was a good kind of offended, don't worry.
I like the short chapters. And I love the short short chapters. "Ricci wasn't in class today." My heart just dropped somewhere deep. It's those things that drive the story. You don't need three thousand words, or a thousand, to drive home your point. You can use only five and have that same effect. Or even better, a deeper effect. I think you use chapter length to your advantage, and it's really amazing.
I love the analytic way Midler looks at Ricci. That dissonance you created with him being gay and the idea that maybe Ricci likes girls really hits that idea home. He doesn't have his eyes set on her, aside from maybe a friendship. And because of that relationship, he can see things that are wrong. Maybe not wrong, but certainly not right. And the way he knows something isn't right, but he doesn't know how to describe it, it is relatable.
I also really love your word choices. Like, "I look over to her to throw the Frisbee her way and I'm smacked upside the head with just how skinny she is now." That is such a great mental picture that I could feel. That is such a great tool you utilize. It gives a scene more than one dimension, which is amazing. You can tell me that he saw the thinner version of Ricci. Like, so what? But to have that image of it smacking him upside the head, the revelation, is just perfect. There is no other way to how I want my revelations.
"I can't unsee how much thinner she's gotten."
That alone resonates something so deep that it hurts me in that offensive, non-offensive way that I was describing before. I don't know how else to express it. Just wow.
Keep up the great work. Really, this is superb writing here.
Dude dude dude you've got a review thingy on the on here oh my god that's soooo awesome congratulations like wow IT'S AWESOME, anyways I'm really starting to wonder what's going to happen next at first I thought this would be just a little short story but now I think I've become addicted because the only reason I originally logged in was because I got an email that you updated otherwise I'd be reading sad stories on wattpad
I'm really digging this story, you write so well. I went to bed starting & reading this last night and woke up this morning to catch up to the current chapter. Keep up the great work I'm now subscribed and I recommended. I can't wait for more :)
I don't know I mean the five word update is something that kind of makes you think and wonder what's going on and what's going to happen ya know? Also I'll definitely keep enjoying this wonderful story and while I agree to wishing for longer chapters there's just something so charming about how short these are in my opinion at least, I really hope Ricci will be alright this reminds me of... Past things that just aren't fair ya know