The Fat Bubble Gum - Comments

While I liked that the phrase "she just wouldn't fit" seemed to be a theme, repeated one way or another throughout the story.
However, I was hoping for a far different end to this. I was cringing for most of the story, not because it was badly written but because I was just... grossed out? I'm not sure if that's the best phrase to describe the feeling. The way the narrator spoke about Angela, it just seemed like a really toxic mindset and it made me pretty uncomfortable.
I like that she resolved to do something and stuck to it, and I like that she went back to sort of shove it in their face, but I really wish there was more body positivity in this piece. Taking care of her body and appearance could have meant that she was staying healthy and learning to love herself and her body, but the way things played out and were worded, it didn't seem like that was really what happened. She said she did it for herself, but it sounded like she was actually doing it because she was bullied into it.
I agree it's funny, in that sick way, that the narrator went from admittedly making fun of her, relentlessly, to wanting to hook up with her. Also that they didn't even recognize Angela after only a year.
On a completely different note, I can't tell who the narrator is. I thought it was a sort of Queen Bee character that was going to end up feeling guilty and eventually coming to respect Angela and becoming friends with her, or maybe trying to get close to her but being rejected because Angela still saw the ugliness in the narrator. That didn't happen, obviously, but also, in the letter it sort of implied that the narrator was male, which isn't a bad thing it just threw me off.
Other than that and a few stylistic things that weren't to my taste (the timing felt off, and the bill at the end confused me for a bit- were they on a date? and he didn't even know her name??), it was an interesting read.
I'm just not sure it really sent the right message.

The story is pretty well written. A couple of phrases and descriptions sound a touch off when I'm reading them in my head.
Overall I appreciated the story and thought the ending was satisfying. I think my only problem with the story is that I don't think weight should define self worth.
I kind of felt like our main character could have been the doctor working on him after an accident for example. She shouldn't have to be skinny to mean something.

@ MrsPull
@ BrittGuyette

thanks girls xxx I really appreciate those comments :)

That is awesome. Good for her for not taking anyone's shit. That was a really great story and it would be great to see it turn into a short story or something.
:) I would love on in Angela's POV. To see what she's thinking and how she feels.

I loved this. How amazing it would be to be a victim of bulling because of your weight only to come back a year later looking fantastic and sticking it to one of your bully's haha it's great! Well done for writing this and doing such a good job of it I hope it inspires some people out there to stick it to there bully's and be the person they know they can be no matter what people think xxx

@ a mimosa pudica
You go girl! You can do this :) thank you so mucjh really!! ♡

Angela is like my fictional character inspiration for losing weight just for my sake and not anyone else's.

It's amazing how much impact you've drawn with only a short story. It's a trait that I truly admire from someone like you.

@ Selena Quintanilla
Wow! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it ^^

Hello, one of the judges for the Sticking to It! thingy-majig, ahaha.

I won't lie to you, it was kind of hard reading through this for a little, and mostly because I know how this feels like--being bullied and stuff--but I'm so glad I pushed on through! The amount of sass I read at the end was just perfect!

I don't know, I loved this piece because you captured some of the hate that bigger people get, and it's something that's not always written about, not like this at least.

I didn't see too many errors in grammar or spelling, so kudos to you for that. I just love how this was executed, and I hope to read more things like this from you!

Angela flashes me her best smile before leaving me on my own along with a $60 bill.

You have no idea how happy I was at the end. This. I live for this!

@ A. J.
Thanks :D

Congrats on winning the contest!

@ Forgetful-Insomniacs
Awww thanks xx

Best. Short story. Ever.

@ charity_hope
Thank you so much for this lovely comment! I'm glad that you liked it!!

For such a short piece, this is absolutely and completely beautiful!

I love how you write this in another person's point of view instead of Angela's. And I love it how you make the guy so realistic and not some typical self-righteous character that tries to appear like some sort of a hero and defend Angela. It makes everything real, you know because this is what really happens in real life. It is kind of pathetic but that's the ugly truth.

The end is just simply fantastic! Angela changes and it's amazing that she makes such a promise to herself and she manages to fulfil it. And I can only imagine the satisfaction she feels at the look on the boy's face.

I really think you did an amazing job with this piece. Good job!

@ A. J.
Thanks dear :)

That was great! Good luck in the contest. =)

@ Tipsy Returns
Thanks Sweetie ♡

This was definitely nice (:
Though I wouldn't have minded a scene where our little bubble gum kicked this guy's ass. Haha, jk. This was a good read.