The Home - Comments

  • disneyland.acid.trip

    disneyland.acid.trip (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    21
    Location:
    United States
    At the rate that this story is going, you'll have plenty of followers in no time at all. In the beginning, there are quite a lot of characters and it's a bit hard to swallow all of the information after only one read. It took me a second to get used to the amount of characters and to become accustomed with each of their personalities but it's definitely worth the effort. Max is my favorite character, without a doubt. Though I love Rogue as well.

    I also adore the summary. During the day, they attend various wellness treatments (including group and solo therapy with professional health-care experts), and in the night... That line is a beautiful way to reel someone in. It worked for me, and I'm certain that it will work for others as well. Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of this!
    June 24th, 2015 at 02:45am
  • silent hearts.

    silent hearts. (1050)

    :
    Bibliophile
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United States
    This is going to be fantastic; I can tell. It's a little much to swallow at first because so many characters are introduced so quickly, but the style is something that is fairly easy to get used to after reading it for a while.

    Rogue is my favorite character for sure - she's just so unapologetically herself. I'm not quite sure how I feel about Abby yet, though. Something seems odd about her - like, why did she really want to open this "home" in the first place? I sense an interesting backstory for her coming later.

    There are a few typos that detract a bit from the story's presentation overall, but there's nothing awfully out of place. I'm definitely subscribing; I can't wait to read more!
    June 19th, 2015 at 05:59am
  • solo sunrise

    solo sunrise (260)

    :
    Bibliophile
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    Neutral Zone
    I did not expect this to be a supernatural story and I was pleasantly surprised. There isn't a lot to comment on, since there are only two chapters, but the first thing that I liked was the layout, as you'd expect.

    Anyway, I liked the first chapter and how it served to introduce the characters. So far, I think Blyme is going to be my favorite. The whole comedic air is really great, though. Both chapters are well-written, especially the first one, which I guess has to be to keep the readers' attention. The only off thing I noticed was switching 'quite' and 'quiet,' and I don't want to count paragraphs so I hope you can ctrl+f to find it? Also: Accusingly, Maxwell's pointed to Blyme, I'm guessing it's his finger? I don't want to be nitpicking, but there are so few actual errors that I thought to point those out. They're more than likely typos, anyway.

    Again, the introduction of the characters and the description of their personalities is great. I like how Abby is a stereotypical hostess type and yet she's also a separate character, if that makes sense. It adds to the comedic feel, in my opinion.

    Bye
    June 19th, 2015 at 05:12am
  • squidward tentacles.

    squidward tentacles. (255)

    :
    NaNoWriMo 2015
    Gender:
    Age:
    92
    Location:
    United States
    The premise of this is super cool. XD
    Subscriiiiibeddd. :)
    June 14th, 2015 at 02:11pm