August 2nd, 2015 at 07:59am
I liked how realistic you were about drug use in this. A lot of times I see people write about an addict that finds love and suddenly isn't addicted anymore, which doesn't happen, so I like that you kept it real. You also added a lot of emotion which was really great. You could tell that the girl was really upset and that Mikey just couldn't care anymore.
There was quite a few spots that could have had better punctuation, and some places where there was a word or two missing from the sentence, so just watch out for that. It also would have been nice to have more descriptions within the story to kind of make it more...vivid, I guess is the word. I agree with Michael Weston as well, it would be cool to see the backstory for the characters to see where the drugs came in and what not.
Overall, nice job
I think maybe the only problem I have with this story is just a few grammatical stuff that kinda took away from the emotions of this story, but I knew what you meant. If you revised this a little bit, it could probably end up a lot more powerful than you intended.