Curvaceous Not Fat - Comments

Okay so, I really, really, really wanted to like this story. I really did and I had a lot of hope for it. I was more than a little confused by the picture used on the story since it is a skinny girl, but I wasn't sure if it was a metaphorical thing or something. Then I started to read the story and I was still hopeful. The story has a decent voice, the characters at first seem incredibly likable. The story is even toted as a story of encouragement.

As someone that is a size 14/16 (depends on fit/brands/etc) I was really excited to see this story. I have a slight issue with the main characters being almost this unrealistic version of a bigger version, with the main character claiming her butt and chest don't sag, that she has clear skin and that she doesn't even have cankles. Most people that size, myself included, have at least one of those issues, and it does not make them less attractive than her for not having those issues. I have weight issues and 'cause my breasts are large (which hers are too) they are guaranteed to sag. Gravity does that.

That being said, my biggest issue with this story is that at the end of the day, it misses the mark of being an actual story of encouragement. The main characters, while interesting, take things far too personally and are incredibly quick to become verbally, emotionally and physically abusive themselves. They had every right to defend themselves in the club scene in the first chapter, especially with the bullies being such obvious bullies, but to say 'bag of bones' to someone seems like skinny shaming, which is not encouraging at all.

We then get a scene in chapter 3 where a teacher sees her and her friends laughing and talking, potentially loudly since it's a group of them, and looks at them a few times while talking about the rules. The teacher's speech ends with her saying, "Give some of you some time to get some black." Am I old and ignorant 'cause this phrase just confuses me. I don't know what this means. We then get the moment where this stopped being an encouraging story at all, where we have the main character verbally rip apart a woman apparently larger than her and assume so many things about this woman's personal life. She mocks the way this woman walks and everything about this woman. What if one of your readers is that big and does, because of that, waddle when they walk, or at least appear to be waddling? How is that helpful and not hurtful to them?

The character is then mad because she got in trouble for 'back talking' to a teacher who 'hate you and give you no respect', when what was actually described in the chapter was the teacher looking at them and the main character assuming it was a personal dig. The main character then verbally attacked the teacher and made her cry. The guys ditching them for other chicks was almost out of nowhere, but not entirely since high school gets people to do a ton of weird things.

However, once again we get a snide comment about 'size 2's' as if that bashing of weight is okay. Skinny shaming can be just as detrimental to people as fat shaming is, and is proven by the fact that skinny people have trouble getting the same treatments and tests covered by insurance or therefore their health can be a lot more detrimental to them. Some of them also, due to metabolism and a lot of other things, just have a difficult time even gaining weight.

I know this is a huge comment and I'm sorry, but I'm going to talk a little bit more and bring it back to the good things. For the most part, great grammar and an easy read with a nice voice. Hell, I even really dig the relationship between Jay and Alli. There seems to be a lot of love there and they are incredibly loyal to each other. Hell, I adored when Jay practically forced Alli out of the house to go have fun, because that's what best friends do for/to each other. They comfort each other when the other one is hurt and it's never a question of how they're going to react or what side they're going to take. That aspect of it is well done. Hell, even the guys are great to them up until one goes off reservation. I do like, to an extent, that these girls are trying to love their own bodies and that they are people that will stand up for themselves. Having a voice is very important.

So, the characters are nice. I like them, but all of your main characters seem to have the same qualities: stubborn, insecure for seemingly no reason, and oblivious. Try to switch it up sometimes so it doesn't seem like your readers are reading the same story. All of your main characters are also quick to swing, so consider making them a little softer. Like they can defend themselves with their words and intelligence, not a swift kick to the sack or a punch to the face. I am going to patiently wait for Ally to accept herself. Her and Brad will never work out if she can't love herself first. Unless a man wants to control a woman, he wants her to love herself just as much as he loves her. sometimes trying to have enough love for the both of them is too much. Just some things to consider, but I like they way it's going. Ally and Ja'hara have a support group and some close friends. That's a great thing to have, but they can't keep taking the boys for granted.