Am I Even Human? - Comments

  • RFarley1991

    RFarley1991 (100)

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    Just found this story 2 days ago and I am addicted. It's like nothing else
    I've ever read. Can't wait to read what happens when the governmrnt comes!!

    Only criticism I have is to maybe re-read what you have written because there are a couple grammatical errors here and there. Not bad at all, I've read some where I couldn't tell what they meant
    April 13th, 2016 at 07:23am
  • nickoo

    nickoo (100)

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    Still as good as ever. Now I'm wanting to know what the dad was talking about when he mentioned what Ryder did. I'm really bad at commenting, but just know that I thoroughly enjoy this story, very original!
    October 4th, 2015 at 04:13pm
  • Piper13_89

    Piper13_89 (100)

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    I'm enjoying this story I wonder if rain will try to talk soon?
    June 3rd, 2015 at 05:33am
  • nickoo

    nickoo (100)

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    I like the POV change, it gives us a little more insight as to what the other characters are thinking. Keep up the good work, I really enjoy this story!
    May 13th, 2015 at 05:52pm
  • BrittanyMorgan

    BrittanyMorgan (100)

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    I really like where you're taking the story. Maybe a chapter or two in another character's POV would be cool. Also, I am still confused about the doctor because she sounds like she supports the system. Some more information on that would be awesome. Anyway, great story!!!
    May 12th, 2015 at 07:38am
  • Lulu888

    Lulu888 (100)

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    Hello! Howdy there?

    So I have read here this chapter and I enjoy the concept! Well okay i don't "enjoy" the concept but rather I find it a great idea for a story!

    Firstly I must agree that the layout - while appropriate, does most certainly get in the way of reading the actual story. Feel free to mess with it - it will take a while. I have been messing with my layout FOREVER and it's still not right. lol

    Another little minor thing I may have issues with is paragraph spacing. Now I am no one to talk, because FOR THE LIFE OF ME I can't get indenting to work. But to compensate I make sure there is a press of the enter button or two for each new paragraph. Is it a hassle? Absolutely. But it is so worth it for smoother reading.

    As for the content I enjoy it. You have a lot good ideas that could definitely work. You could totally throw in a bit of stream of consciousness for the character during her monotonous days just to show the deterioration of her mind or something! So much opportunity! I am going to be curious to see how you develop the character! Good luck to you and if you ever want to ask questions - i'm probably not the best writer but I can try to help! ^^
    March 20th, 2015 at 08:43am
  • PoeticMess.

    PoeticMess. (150)

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    Hello! This sounds really interesting & I love concepts like this. One thing I would suggest if you want more readers, would be to simplify the layout. It's really difficult to read what you've posted on a background like that. I would suggest a banner if you'd like a prison/jail theme.

    I know that seems petty, but it definitely makes a difference. I would really like to read this, but it would be nice to not have to click the "default layout" button, cause that one sucks. But anyway, I'm going to go read this now! Let me know if you have any questions regarding layouts. :)
    March 19th, 2015 at 07:25pm