Carolina, I Just Paint. - Comments

@ TaraJanee
The font is a rather small size, yet on my laptop its easily readable. Though I do know it isn't the same on different screens. I will look into it to make it slightly bigger, for the nearsighted ;P.
Thank you so much for the kind words and I am so flattered when you say its original. I find it hard to find original concepts but that comment of yours means the world to us!

First of all, I kind of had mixed feelings about the layout. I liked the colour in the back and then the font of the title, it looks super appealing and lovely. But I had to zoom in quite a bit to be able to see the text. I don't know if it was just actually really small size, or if my eyes were bad haha.

I really love how the chapters sort of unfold. There's so much imagery and then there's also little snippets of himself that he gives off every once in a while which I feel is a really good mix. The paragraphs I feel, are really quite raw and passionate in the way they've been written. I seriously enjoyed particular lines in there. "A painter is merely someone who observes. Yet I have experienced her." That's a fantastic line.

I'm really, really interested in the whole concept of this. I've never read anything like it and I think you did it quite wonderfully!

@ insufferable;
Thanks for the nice words. Could you help me edit?

Layout/Summary:
I'm absolutely in love with your layout! I'm trying not to comment on layouts any longer, but oh my goodness, yours is absolutely beautiful!
The summary is well written as well. I love your wording and the flow of it. I'm so excited to read the story!

Chapter One:
I love the imagery in the first paragraph/chapter. The way you start the story is beautiful and really shows what your writing will hold.
I can't tell if he loves her or if it's the absolute lust he feels for her. Honestly, I'm leaning toward the latter, but I could very well be wrong.
You do have small errors littered throughout the story, but it's not enough to distract, however I do recommend looking it over. You also change the point-of-view a few times and go from third to first, which I'll admit was distracting.

As I said above, this is really well written and I love the imagery you created. It does need a quick edit, but they're all very easy fixes. Well done!

@ dawn of light
Good things come to those who wait don't they haha. I lived reading this comment! You just gave me something amazing to go to sleep with. Thanks so much for doing the giveaway

It took me ages to get to the commenting part of my Candy Bowl Giveaway you participated in, but behold it’s finally here!

Let me just say how beautiful your layout is. It captures your two-shot perfectly in a sense of content and atmosphere.

I love the characters you created because even though the dialogue, the raw emotion is read and seen between the lines. I like how quirky they are while doing art.

“I want you to want me. I want to be seen. I want you.” This line captures the entire story all too greatly.

I really did like how it took place in the art room because this give some awkward (maybe not) vibe between the two.

DAVID AND HIS “I GOT YOU MEMORIZED.” Oh geez wow that was great. I gotta be honest~ Carolina, he wants your body. He loves you for your body! I don't know why but I kinda dislike David. But I like him at the same time. You've developed his character neatly, indeed.

This was by far one of the most creative pieces I've read in here. Thank you for recommending this in my giveaway!

I'm so sorry this comment was so late

@ nefarious
I'm not sure why you consider yourself a inexperienced commenter because this comment was very helpful! Its ok if you don't like her. We did not write her to be liked, David more so. Maybe my mal de mere has a more likeable character and as you might read more of my stories: changing perspective and using flashbacks are kind of my thing haha. I can't write without it. This was a cowrite though, mal de mere is a solo story.

This was very well written. I'm going to be 100% honest though. I didn't like Carolina. Something about her character just irked me. Of course, that happens in movies, TV shows, and books too. It doesn't take away from the story any. And though I didn't like her, in the second chapter(?), I started to feel bad for her. Gale sees her only for her looks and nothing else. Of course, she sees him for his gifts and gigs so I guess it evens out, doesn't it?

When I think of David, 'nice guys finish last' comes to mind. He probably would have given her the world if he had the opportunity.

Either way, this was a really good read. You did a fantastic job! Like I said before, it was well written and incredibly descriptive. It is unique to have the point of view of two characters in separate chapters. Also, many people use flashbacks pretty poorly, but these were perfectly timed and fit in well with story.

@ Clearturquoise
Thank you so much! I dont think I've seen one like this before but I do love you telling me its original!

I think this is a story like no other, I haven't really seen a story here quite unique as yours. Well done, you should be proud :)

@ dnunez13
Thank you so much, we enjoyed writing it!

Wow! Loved it, y'all!

I loved this a lot, maybe more than I should have, but whooo cares cause this was great and you lads are great, it's a great combination if ya ask me. I loved the description, I loved reading this. It was beautifully written all over, top notch stuff. I give it a good thumbs up and a recommendation because I am in love with this. :3

@ The Alpha's Angel
Thank you so much for your feedback! Could you tell us what you noticed as errors so we can maybe edit it?

@ Alex Moore.
Can't wait to see what it is!

@ Michael Westen
Thanks again for your never failing support! Chelsey and I are busy with another short story as we speak it will be posted shortly

This is amazing as always, the description is great and definitely creates vivid images as you read... with the addition of the flashbacks which just add something more to the overall story. Both chapters flow perfectly and aside from a few small mistakes (which may not actually be mistakes) I didn't spot nothing that stopped me from reading.

Truly, this is amazing. I smiled when he said "Carolina, I just paint." I don't think I could ask for more from this. You guys did an incredible job and the story was really enjoyable to read. If I hadn't already recommended it, I'd recommend it again.

Two things:

"and she satisfying her lust" - I assume a "was" is meant to fit in there.

"Which made David’s skin and lips taste even sweeter." - My favorite line, besides the one I already pointed out

You guys should write something else together! Another two-shot perhaps?

@ FrozenFrozenFrozen.
Thank you, dear!

I really like it! I like the colors, for one! All the bright, bright colors! And, the way you described it all! It really painted a picture in my mind! Great job and keep up the great work! :)