Second & Sebring - Comments

Two new updates? How exciting.

I'm not going to lie, I was a little confused at what was going on and what her career was and why this was happening. But once I remembered, it was clear to me. I enjoy that its short, it keeps the reader interested and guessing to see what will happen, and I love that. Overall, I think it is going well, I suggest spacing within your paragraphs.

I also enjoy the character - I want to learn more about her and her story. Well - write on darling!

In the first sentence you used 'last night' twice, which made it kind of redundant. Perhaps consider taking one of them out.

This was really short, which will really leave the reader guessing what's going to happen later on.

Your grammar and spelling were great, which made this easy to read. I don't really have much more to say, considering the chapter was so short, however I think it gave a really nice introduction to what the story is going to offer.

Thank you so much. I applied a layout just now, and I'm currently brainstorming ideas for the next chapters.

I agree with the fact that this story could go in so many different directions and that is does have some real potential. I am very interested in the way you write and take this story. I find really short chapters better than very long ones in their land if detail. You got the basics of the plot down in a concise way and its good and interesting to the reader. I love fan fiction and the ways people come up with ways to meet them and all this so I am so excited to see what you do here.

I always agree you need a layout, something I or The Alpha's Angel could help you. (I'm not good with banners) haha. But you've got something good and interesting here, keep up with it and I'm sure it'll be a hit.

The direction of this story, as The Alpha's Angel said, is going to be interesting. Not much coming from the start but I can already picture where it might go and what kind of relationships will be had. For that matter the question remains, is the photographer going to be driving alone or tagging along literally with the band of her choice? Is she in it for the long haul, or just for a short period of time? I have a story myself that is similar to this and it features Avenged Sevenfold. I am quite intrigued to see where you take this!

I haven't read a story in first person narrative in years! It's an interesting take. Good luck with this overall! I hope you update eventually and take up The Alpha's Angel's suggestion on a layout. It always helps to make it pretty.

There is so many avenues that this story can take and there isn't a lot that I can say just from the first chapter but it definitely has potential... One thing I would suggest is making a layout for it, if you need help with the banner and layout then give me a shout and I can help you out :) It'll be interesting to see where you take this... good luck :)