The Painter Boy - Comments

I really enjoy the vibe and feeling I get from this story - and you get little background about the overall surroundings but it keeps the reader interested. I found myself smiling most of the time. Lottie is a kind character and I find the idea of her practically owning a prom/wedding shop both so interesting and creative. You use your words and descriptions effectively and effortlessly, honestly, that it all flows well and you have good timing with the flow of the story. And for a first chapter it opened much about future chapters, especially with the painter boy.

I'm curious to see how it happens, how the characters unravel. I think its an awesome first chapter and I cannot wait to stop back and read more. There is a lot of meaning and more story to learn and read about and it's exciting.

I also agree with vv Michael Westen. Honey, you are doing an incredible job so far with this story and I hope you continue to update it.

There is such a definitive feel to this story, I don't think I've ever read anything like it. The way you describe things just paints the clearest picture, down to every detail, no pun intended. I also really like how you integrated the backstory so effortlessly into the chapter. I had had a feeling that her mother wasn't going to be apart of the story, but I'm actually sad that that is the case. The way Charlotte talks about her, you can just tell that she meant everything to her.

The ending of the chapter is just perfect. It pushes people to click next, if they could.

You say you're just trying, but dear, this is doing. Congrats

This story sounds like it's going to be super adorable! It's so unique and quirky. I am getting this like 50's vibe about the place. I don't know why. Candie is such a laugh, I can imagine her taking little prancy steps as she walks.

The only thing I can pick out to possibly fix is this line "followed by the popping of a big bubble gum bubble."

Just because having the word bubble so close together stumps the flow. Other than that it's really well written!

First off, I really love the simplicity of your layout and summary. The summary doesn't give away much of anything, but also gives away enough to really catch on to what the story it about.

I really enjoy your writing style, plus the way you've started this. It's really unique, honestly. I've never read a story on here or in 'real life' that has ever started like this and that's what I'm falling in love with.

I know she won't be apart of the story, but I really love Lottie's mother and I wish she could've been apart of it just because she sounds so wonderful and kind.

I really enjoyed how you ended the chapter. Lottie meeting the painter boy. I can definitely tell this is going to be a wonderful story, plus I didn't see a single error in this.

I'm definitely subscribing. Well done!