This was a really interesting idea for a story. I liked the Hotel California-esque plot, with the hotel that the guests could never leave. It was interesting that Victor was the only one who didn't find the hotel by himself, and that eventually was Aida's downfall. I was a bit surprised that he didn't catch on faster, considering all the hints that everyone was dropping the whole time and all of the portraits that were hanging on the walls. Though I guess that was because he just didn't want to believe it, and was too distracted by his search for perfection.
I was a bit confused by the use of Greek Mythology throughout the story. I understood that it was what he associated with his mother, but I didn't get why it played such a big role near the end. The last couple chapters seemed to use it quite heavily, and it just seemed a bit disconnected from the rest of the story because it almost felt like it was randomly thrown in after not really being used too heavily in the rest of the story.
I also would have liked to see more of a backstory for the other characters. We knew a bit about Guillermo and Abel and Kain, and then Aida obviously, but I never really felt like I fully knew the characters. I didn't feel like I fully understood why they were at the hotel other than the fact that the magic lured them in. And with Evan and Amelia, they were fairly important to the story, but we didn't ever really learn much about them. The background information that you gave for the other characters felt sort of disconnected, where you fleshed out some of it and then other parts were non-existent which made it confusing to understand and follow what was happening.
There were quite a few spelling and grammar errors and words that were used incorrectly that made a lot of sentences not make sense. I would suggest going over the story or getting and editor that can look over things for you to make sure everything makes sense and flows smoothly.
I thought the end was an interesting twist. To have everything be happening in his head while he was in a coma was an interesting direction to go. I would have liked to see where some of the characters (like Guillermo, Evan and Amelia) came from, since you included how the doctor looked like Abel (and Kain I assume, since they're twins). It would have helped round out the story and made a bit more sense of the ending.
Overall, I think this was a really interesting concept that you chose to write about. Good job
I was a bit confused by the use of Greek Mythology throughout the story. I understood that it was what he associated with his mother, but I didn't get why it played such a big role near the end. The last couple chapters seemed to use it quite heavily, and it just seemed a bit disconnected from the rest of the story because it almost felt like it was randomly thrown in after not really being used too heavily in the rest of the story.
I also would have liked to see more of a backstory for the other characters. We knew a bit about Guillermo and Abel and Kain, and then Aida obviously, but I never really felt like I fully knew the characters. I didn't feel like I fully understood why they were at the hotel other than the fact that the magic lured them in. And with Evan and Amelia, they were fairly important to the story, but we didn't ever really learn much about them. The background information that you gave for the other characters felt sort of disconnected, where you fleshed out some of it and then other parts were non-existent which made it confusing to understand and follow what was happening.
There were quite a few spelling and grammar errors and words that were used incorrectly that made a lot of sentences not make sense. I would suggest going over the story or getting and editor that can look over things for you to make sure everything makes sense and flows smoothly.
I thought the end was an interesting twist. To have everything be happening in his head while he was in a coma was an interesting direction to go. I would have liked to see where some of the characters (like Guillermo, Evan and Amelia) came from, since you included how the doctor looked like Abel (and Kain I assume, since they're twins). It would have helped round out the story and made a bit more sense of the ending.
Overall, I think this was a really interesting concept that you chose to write about. Good job