Voyager - Comments

I'd like to leave a longer review, but...I just wish we could recc a story multiple times. 100, maybe?

I'd like to leave a longer review, but...I just wish we could recc a story multiple times. 100, maybe?

I am so glad that I came across this story. The summary definitely sucked me in. It gave just enough for me to want to know so much more about this world you are creating. It sounded amazing right from the start.

Your writing is amazing. The story flows so well and I found myself immersed into the story immediately. It all seems so realistic. The way you build relationships throughout the chapters is wonderful. You give away just enough about each character to make the story work so very well. I'm absolutely in love with Callahan. He seems so goofy and fun to be around. And don't get me started on Eliza. She is handling her diagnosis really well and it's clear that she is such a strong individual for not dwelling but deciding to live. Wylie has also grabbed my attention. I can't wait to learn more about every character you have introduced and how their relationships progress.

I am also very excited to see what happens the closer they get to Earth 2.0. It seems like things could go extremely well or there could be a few bad bumps in the road. The anticipation for what could come has me clawing for more.

This is just an amazing story I cannot wait to read more.

The overall look is something I'd compare to space - dark, yet light, and with bright colors. Your summary is also perfection, pulling me in and making me want to know about this new planet and what will happen with everyone. Maybe it's just my computer, but the chapter font seems a little small/


The whole time I read I was on the edge of my seat. I imagine this would flow perfectly in a film - the quick thought process overlapping a present conversation. The same way you write a character dying is the way I feel when I find out about a death. I can imagine the two would feel similar. What hit me the hardest was What's a year, anyway? ... Not enough time. Maybe it's because this seems to be how things are with my grandma, and maybe because it's just so powerful. A year never seems to last long these days, and you capture that perfectly.


This is fantastic! I would have never imagined a ship to look like this, and yet it all seems like such a grand possibility. almost expect it to be just like home. - I'm wondering if this should be phrased different to flow better, like expect it to be almost just like home. or something. Somehow I'm really sad to find out the journey is 11 months long and after the last sentence - all she'll ever see is the ship...


Sexism in 3074 seems so plausible, it's ridiculous. For a moment I forgot this was set that far into the future. I'm very thankful for you having a character page now that more characters are being introduced. Callahan is my favorite so far~


Can an IQ be 400? That's wild. Isn't the average IQ like, way under 200? Eliza is seriously impressive. It's interesting to see two cliches (do-it-all MC and MC with life-threatening illness) rolled into one because they balance out so well, and create such a tragic character. It's probably sadistic, but I got a laugh out of her being told to notify Olivier of any side effects - because death is one of them. It'd be a little hard to tell him that, no? It's amazing to me that side effects are often more severe than what they're meant to cure.


I just started the soundtrack and I have to say that Glow is so perfect and fitting. Like I feel such a great feeling of suspense and emotion, I feel like I'm in a film/MV. Oleksandra is pretty interesting. Her reasoning for wanting to go to Earth 2.0 makes me happy. I can't believe I never read this before! I think now I'm going to watch Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham if I can find it. (The leading actresses are really pretty!) You're doing such a great job at making this realistic and having interesting bits and things that your readers might not know about. I love it.

@ fairly local;
Your account is private so I'll just do this here, but thank you so much for taking the time out to leave a comment like this on my story. I really appreciate it

Summary:
The summary pulled me in well enough. It clued me in on what was going to happen without giving too much away. Kudos to you. I'm wondering if Lizzie has a disease or if she just wants to see everything before time runs out.

One:
I really like stories that start out with meaningful questions. I feel like it starts to pave the way for what's to be expected and I really appreciated that with the start of this story.
In terms of the police officer speaking to a nine year old I don't think that was too realistic? It's like, 'oops, sorry, you're parents are dead.' I feel like an officer would've broken the news down easier? But maybe I'm wrong.
I just have a hard time believing that the greatness of God can just kill people off like they're characters in a movie or make little kids starve or accept the existence of rapists. This is definitely something that isn't addressed in stories like this and I'm really glad you drew attention to it.

The last few lines are actually really heart-wrenching. I was thinking Lizzie had some sort of disease. I like the way she'll go about it though. She isn't going to mope, she's going to make the best out of it and I really respect that.

I didn't see any mistakes in this and I really thought it was a lovely first chapter/prologue. I wish you the best of luck with this story.

I'm so sorry you lost this chapter twice but kudos to you for getting it written! If it were me I'd have probably quit tbh I'm really glad that she told Willow what was up and didn't try to like hide it anymore. I'm looking forward to seeing their friendship progress some more. For some reason they remind me kind of Alex and Shelby on Quantico. They're roommates too. I liked the little bit between Cal and Lizzie. It's nice to know everyone isn't just oblivious to what's going on with her. Great update

Is it weird I see this like a TV Show/Movie? Like I see everyone and spacesuits and I hear the little command buttons and space noises as I read this and everything is just so cool lol. I like how it's international. This is so amazing. I'm on chapter 4 and I'm in love. Like I can see this published.

I am soo glad I get to re-read this story to comment on it But basically, straight off the summary has sucked me in, mainly because I love sci-fi novels and this is actually an interesting take on the sci-fi genre. It's like sci-fi meeting the more mundane, I love it! I'm also jealous that I don't get to go on this trip

Chapter One

I love the way you introduced this story. I just love that we're getting to explore Lizzie's head and get to know her straight away, the person she really is. It makes me connect to the character immediately, it makes me really feel for her when she is saying all of this. I mean, we're seeing her bare emotions and thought processes. I love how the thoughts seem to change as well, between the speech. It gives a more realistic set up of the thought process - jumping around, talking about this, that and the other.

I love how you've split up the dialogue and the thoughts, it's actually rather effortless and I can see it all happening in real time. There's nothing awkward about the shift between the dialogue and Lizzie's introduction - it all fits in one place, at one time.

Chapter Two

First off, I love how realistic the dialogue is. It's realistic dialogue between siblings, and you've even included small things like interruptions and exaggerations in speech. I just love that small touch. "For the hundredth time, yes," I roll my eyes. This is 100% me. I can relate to Lizzie so much because I, too, love space and I, too, would fly off to a different planet at any opportunity no matter the circumstance.

Nice to know Star Wars and Star Trek are still popular

I am so amazed when you describe the ship. It takes my breath away, I just want to be there with the characters travelling to Earth 2.0. I am literally feeling what the characters are feeling - that sense of awe. I just-- I love how realistic and relatable both Lizzie and Flora are. They act like human beings, they get amazed at things and they bicker and it's so real I can almost feel myself standing there with them.

I love Willow's introduction, I just want to pinch her cheeks or something. All the characters are so unique, but they aren't caricatures either. They are real human beings I can see existing.

The excitement was just building up in this chapter, all the way up until they take off. I just love space, don't mind me

I like that you've given a history to this planet and it's discovery, it's a nice touch. Others might have brushed over it and been like 'it's just there', but I'm glad that you added that touch. It makes this Earth 2.0 seem like some real possibility that could happen within the future.

There was a paragraph where the word 'countdown' was used three times, and all I'd suggest is maybe just changing it around a bit so it doesn't seem too repetitive. Otherwise I didn't find any problems with this chapter. In fact, I absolutely loved the way you ended it - 'The rest of my life is here.' It makes me so excited to see the rest of Lizzie's life here and what is to come while they travel to Earth 2.0

Chapter Three

I'll say it again, I loved that every character is unique and different. They all have different jobs, lives and backgrounds. You rarely see stories with so much diversity in characters, but I love the diversity you have given to everyone in this story. It makes the characters more interesting, engaging and even more memorable as I read the story. (Though Lizzie is my fave).

God, the police officer. He needs to get off Lizzie's back, we don't need assholes like him on the new planet Though I am not surprised people still think this way, even if it is so many years into the future.

I love Lizzie's confidence and bravery, how she isn't so afraid of anything anymore. It makes me want to cheer her on like YEAH, you shout at that sexist asshole. She's such a fun narrative to read, since she's so unique and interesting. She's not perfect by any means, but she is realistic and SO COOL.

I love love love Callahan's personality. He's just so likeable because he is loud and proud, as well as being funny and charming. I also have a thing for the Irish, so that helps. I also really like Olivier's personality, I think he's just such a sweet and when he mentioned his husband's ashes I was like oh noooo. It's also nice to see that jobs are important within this world, since in loads of stories people seem to have no job or the classic jobs in retail or waitressing, so it's nice to see a large variety!

Chapter Four

'I can see Mars outside my window.' So jealous, wish I could just look outside my window and see the goddamn solar system. When can I fast forward to the future?

The broccoli thing absolutely killed me, it was just so funny. Callahan is just such a fun personality to read about, and in a way I kind of want him and Lizzie to become a thing lolll. Because despite being a jokester, he also has a sweet side and I like that he isn't just the comedic character on the side. All your characters are all well-rounded, instead of being a trope of caricature in Lizzie's story.

Ohh, introductions. You give out information really well. It doesn't feel like too much information at once, but it also doesn't feel like we know nothing about these characters. You give information at the right time and in the right amount, so the reader is not overwhelmed nor will they just forget so easily.

I like Flora. You can definitely see that she cares about Lizzie through the way she acts and the things she says. You didn't have to blatantly state that she cares for us to be able to see that she clearly does. Your use of showing us and not telling is really effective within the story. It helps to build an idea of the characters, without being spoon fed all the information.

I feel so sorry for Lizzie, that she hasn't been able to do what she wanted to do because of her parent's death and her cancer. I wish she'd had the chance to explore the world so much earlier, but I'm glad she has the opportunity to travel through space instead, which is cooler anyway. I really hope she gets to live on Earth 2.0 with her sister, even if it only lasts for a little while.

Chapter Five

Everything they do is so normal, yet they are currently travelling through space to a whole new planet! It seems so surreal that they are actually doing that, whilst they sit down and eat food and watch movies. I like the kind of normal, mundane touch to it though. It doesn't feel too extraordinary, but the journey is not underwhelming because the idea and Lizzie's yearning to travel is always present. I mean, after I'd gotten over my own excitement, I'd totally just eat food and watch movies too.

Yessss, not only diversity cultural wise, but sexuality wise too!! I really love that you've added this diversity, including the mentions of asexuality and the hint that Lily is definitely into girls. It's so hard to find this much diversity in characters in stories, but you have SO much of it, and I hope it makes people realise it's so effortless to have diversity.

Oleksandra's reason for being here is so wonderful, they're all so sweet.

This chapter was so calming though, especially with the last line, 'while the universe slowly glides away by my window'. I guess the only thing I have to say is that at first the chapter felt a little out of place with the rest of the story, but the further I read, the more it started to slot back into place, so I don't think it's a problem at all.

Chapter Six

Hmmm, Callahan and Flora... I could get on board with that, once I'm over the fact that I thought it'd be Callahan and Lizzie

I love the relationship dynamic between Lizzie and Flora. They are both always looking out for each other and while they do bicker sometimes and don't agree with each other, we can see that they both care about each other so much and want the best for each other. Even if Lizzie's idea for the best for Flora is getting her together with the hot ex-neighbour

I like that the cancer is always present, which sounds morbid, but... it makes it more realistic. It's not like one chapter it's gone and then the other it's not, it's always present despite everything. I think it balances out the more happier parts and makes this a more mellow read.

I LOVE WYLIE, he's just so nice and sweet, I really hope that the treatment works for him otherwise I'm going to be so sad. I hope we get to see Lizzie and Wylie hanging out more in the next chapters since I think it'd be nice for Lizzie to have someone who understands her better (and doesn't give her the look.)

Overall / Extras

You already know how much I love this story to pieces. I love the diversity of the characters and how realistic they all are, I love that this isn't some huge extraordinary sci-fi story, but instead more lowkey as it still includes the mundane and the morbid. I just loooove this story so much and I'm so jealous that I don't get to travel to Earth 2.0 with them all And, layout is on point! Can't wait for the rest.

Girl, you’re the sci-fi queen. I can’t even handle it. Also I’ll be commenting as I’m reading so if things sound awkward that’d be why.

I love the way you started this story, the whole format of the chapter is fantastic. I know I’ve read it before because of the editing thing, but it just gets me every time. I think having her thoughts intertwined with her conversation with the doctor is the perfect way to introduce everything.

The point of view (I think that’s the right phrase) you’ve written this in is super interesting to read. I feel like I’m there and experiencing everything with Lizzie even though she’s on a spaceship in the future.

Welcome aboard the SS Voyager and we hope you enjoy your stay.
I found it kind of hilarious that he’s acting like they’re staying in a hotel and not taking off to an entire new planet.

God I hope sexism doesn’t exist in 3074. Officer Asshole needs to back tf up though. GOD. It’s sweet how concerned Flora is about Lizzie, aw.

Frisky. Oh my god The Proposal is such a great movie aha. I'm low-key shipping Oli and Lizzie I DONT CARE IF HE'S GAY and hope something is going to happen with them because they seem like they’re be adorable togetherrr.

ALRIGHT. So the only thing I’d say is that some of the dialogue can get a little choppy, and I think it may be because you use quite a few exclamation points. I have a weird relationship with that form of punctuation so it could just be me, but I thought I’d point it out anyways.

But I adore this story! I can’t wait to see what happens

vi
flora + cal 4 life pls thank you
it's nice that she's worrying about her sister after her passing, though she should also be making sure she takes care of herself, too. ten months, ten years - ten days, even - health matters. (:
wylie
omg that literally might be the nicest name i've ever heard in my life
hope they become bffs and live happily ever after on new earth together bc if they don't i'll cry
slightly disappointed that cal and flora haven't hooked it up YET but no worries, i'll live.
over all - this whole story is really interesting, fresh, new, and just a really good read! definitely going to subscribe and see where it goes next.

v
this is cute, kind of a lil girls night in sleepover time.
frisky?
yeah, that's actually a really good question: is it like a wild free for all or are there, like... rules governing intimacy? because, you know, idk if it'll be the most conducive thing to get pregnant on an 11 month trip to a new planet.
this chapter was short and sweet, but it was pretty nice to see some background info on her friends, and to see her branching out a little.

iv
cal seems like a cutie, troublesome, but cute af and I like him
food fight on board, eh? YES PLS
sidebar - these little snippets of her past/childhood are my favorite, and i love them dearly.
is there love on board alREADY?
/casually ships everyone w everyone bc why not
have i mentioned how much i love your story telling skills? bc if i haven't - or if i have - you're fantastic
this story is literally getting better and better. think it's safe to say you've hooked me!

iii.
I like Lizzie most because she doesn't seem too self absorbed or worried with herself and her own surroundings instead of others around her. It might be easy to do, and even justified, bc, you know, she's dying. I like her. She seems real, relatable, and normal, in a good way.
who tf is this??? FIRST of all, who was talking to you??! omg. can we hit him? who is he? he seems like a massive fuckboy, and new earth does NOT need fuckboys, we have enough of them here already, thank you v much
OF COURSE HE'S A COP
/squints
ooh cal sounds cute, i like him
OOOOOH hello olivier, also sounds cute, soz about his husband being dead and all.
chapter three gets five stars! (:

ii.
is voyager a double entendre/pun bc she's a voyager, travelling on the ss voyager???
well, I'm sold
flora seems cute and annoying, I like her tbh,and I really like her interaction with her sister up to this point. she seems to be a bit worrisome, but obvs, if her sister is ill, she's entitled to her worry.
lizzie is DRY af I love it omg
she's a doctor?! i can dig it, nice
okay, in all seriousness, the ship setting actually sounds really cool and vivid. you found a way to introduce the reader to the setting without glossing over every possible detail, which is good. with some sci-fi stories, it can get really over done and overwhelming, especially in the beginning when they're still trying to get acclimated to the universe in the story as a whole, if that makes any sense.
willow!!!
fashion sense is on point, my friend! love her already, hope she lives
oh, okay. she's an fbi profiler - nice
diversity!!! thank you, lil skipper. sometimes, when reading sci fi novels, it's hard to pinpoint where the characters are from exactly, but for some reason most people assume they're from somewhere in europe or the u.s. thanks for not fitting the mold, bub.
over all, this chapter was very well rounded, concise, and constant. you have a certain rhythm that I'm highly envious of, and I can't wait to see where this story goes. Lizzie and Flora seem like very endearing, yet very different characters, and their roommates seem pretty sweet, too. Brownie points - even if a reader has never read a sci fi fic in their life, this story seems pretty easy to follow and understand, and that's important.

hello angel!!!
i.
this layout is making me cry exCUSE ME wow
/casually plans her retirement bc her layout game is v weak
in all honesty, the premise of this story is really interesting, and the prologue really does a lot to capture the reader's attention without spilling out the whole plot in one startlingly cold glass of water. it takes quite a bit of skill to be so delicate and tactful and at the same time, make it so interesting. good job, bby

I'm a huge fan of Eliza and Olivier and really want that to happen. Shipping them so hard. I hope Eliza can keep her illness a secret but I can see how that's becoming harder and harder to do. I'm excited for them to leave the ship and land somewhere whether that's Earth 2.0 or somewhere else. This is just a super cool and original idea I'm excited to see wherever it goes! Keep updating

I love this story so much; just the idea of it in general is interesting and always makes me want to read more. Please update soon!!!!

This is an awesome story, through and through. I really like the story line and the idea. It's absolutely amazing. Please update soon!!

I really like this so far, the flow is good and the detail is perfect :) I like that the similarities between Lizzie and Reid :)