White Noise - Comments

  • theperfectpirate

    theperfectpirate (100)

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    @ TaraJanee
    My lovely cowriter and I have been friends for the longest time. Met here actually I believe. Through a mutual mibba friend. We have drastically different writing styles sometimes and it works so well when it comes to a story like this when it's important to clearly distinguish the differences in the main characters. Thank you for the kind words and well thought out comment. I hope you'll stick around. We have more horrors in store.

    -Scarlett's voice
    January 21st, 2016 at 10:18am
  • theperfectpirate

    theperfectpirate (100)

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    @ skywalkers.
    I was determined when we set out to write this world to not have lazy easy zombies. I wanted to have a challenging world where the zombies were almost functional yet not at all. The aspect of the story where the zombies are runners and climbers was partially taken from my love of World War Z and Resident Evil and how those are not stumble around brain loving zombies but zombies you have to really REALLY fight against. Thank you for such a well thought out and formed comment. It means a lot. I hope you'll continue with us.

    -Scarlett's voice
    January 21st, 2016 at 10:15am
  • theperfectpirate

    theperfectpirate (100)

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    @ nearly witches.
    I think I love you oh my word. Thank you for taking so much time to not only read our story but to get invested and leave such a well thought out amazing comment. I'm in love with this story and this world and love that you do too. Thank you!! Scarlett has so many layers we've only just begun to see. Can't wait to hear what you think moving forward. Thanks again!

    -Scarlett's voice
    January 21st, 2016 at 10:12am
  • nearly witches.

    nearly witches. (15250)

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    Zombies are basically my secret love so I was really excited to come across this in the Leave a Comment, Take a Comment swap!

    I actually like that, right from the get-go, you start discussing the other countries. I always wonder what happens to everywhere else in zombie apocalypses, because it always seems to be centred on the US in common pop culture, and I love the idea of discussing what's happened to them, but doing do in such a subtle way and without having the characters attempting to get to those countries in vain. The way that you describe the disease coming over everybody whilst adding in little bits of history is also very good -- it's a really clever way of intertwining little details without giving us too much information right at the start.

    Speaking of characters though -- I love the characters in this. Scarlett is definitely a bit of a badass, which works perfectly in the context of the story. She's had to endure hardships and it isn't about to let up, so why should she be all romance-y and the suchlike? She's definitely a strong leader and it's interesting to read a character that's very much a strategist with a plan.

    On the converse, I love reading Holland's take as well! It has been mentioned int he comments before, but having the complete contrast in characters really does add to the interest I have in this story. It's a really good way to show two different sides of the apocalypse. You've got the calm, collected side from Scarlett and then you've got that slightly more humorous, human-like tone from Holland. skywalkers. said it below, but it really does come across as if he's just a random guy that's been caught up in all of this without a plan to be had. It adds some relief from the constant, gruelling nature that Scarlett has and the characters are both balanced out incredibly when it comes to the narrative. They work very well off of one another and you both have really refreshing writing styles to read through.

    You've also both gotten the hang of this wonderful mix between the humanity of the characters and the action. You've got these glimpses of who they used to be before the zombies arrived, and then you've got the action-filled chases after the zombies.

    I wasn't going to mention much more, seeing as my comment is turning into a mini-easy in itself, but I just want to mention my favourite excerpt that I've com across whilst reading:

    Still. I wasn’t getting attached.

    Because everyone dies.


    This is amazing. I don't even know why it gripped me, but I read that and I just felt awful for Scarlett, and Holland and everybody else having to go through the apocalypse. Feeling like this can't be good for the soul, but I suppose everything is about survival, especially if the zombies are evolving into smarter, faster beings. You can't trust anybody, I guess. tehe

    Overall, I'm loving this! There are a lot of interesting plot points that I've not read in anything else, such as the evolution which is going to make for amazing reading -- I'm only on chapter five right now, but I'm loving that already! Keep up the awesome work, you guys!
    January 20th, 2016 at 11:06am
  • solo sunrise

    solo sunrise (260)

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    My favorite thing about zombie stories is how every writer has their own sort of zombies. You've got fast zombies, slow zombies, those that only eat brains, those that eat everything, etc. Looks like we've got fast zombies here, which makes this a lot more action-y than it would be otherwise.

    Speaking of action-y, I like the whole 'serendipitous thing happens and it's ruined' style. It keeps the story interesting, especially when it happened in the very first chapter. It also helped prevent a massive infodump, which is what I thought it'd be when I started reading.

    Of course, I wasn’t getting attached. Sure Scarlett. whatever you say. I like her a lot; she's a real badass. And Holland is hilarious; you guys have such different writing styles that it really adds to the characters' voices, instead of detracting from the story. Scarlett seems more sort of military, like a typical survival novel protagonist. She's very introspective and thoughtful. Holland seems like a random guy who just happened to be caught up in the apocalypse. I like the humor in those chapters. The two seem kind of like a foil to one another.

    I can tell you guys have worked really hard on this, and that this story is your baby. Keep writing. Cute
    January 18th, 2016 at 01:41am
  • TaraJanee

    TaraJanee (150)

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    Okay, so I really enjoy your styles, you're both fantastic writers! It was easy to read, as well as thorough, and you included the right amount of information, memories, and imagery when you needed to. Honestly, I have nothing bad to say about how the story flowed, it was so fluent and a breezy read.

    I appreciated the background info at the beginning of Chapter 1, because it sort of let me see how the virus started and how it spread, and the people that everyone had to become in order to survive. I think it's crucial you included that part, and it also set the tone of the story and the mood of the main character which was great. Though the bit about the toddler being bitten by his Dad killed me. :'(

    It was also interesting to see the difference in perspectives and tone between Scarlett and Holland. You each include these little descriptions and explanations of how they feel about things which adds more character to each of them. I especially liked in Chapter 5 when she's talking about dreams/nightmares and how they're basically the same things these days.

    Anyway, great story! I hope you both keep it up, it was an awesome read thanks!
    January 16th, 2016 at 12:01am