This is really interesting because I feel like there's a whole lot going on. I mean, obviously there is, but I think it was the way it was narrated. It’s really interesting to read about a character who doesn’t think she’s good enough because of the stripper (I think?) that her boyfriend/husband/whoever saw.
The very first sentence really set everything up, as it should, and we kind of got a good glimpse of what the characters would be like just from that one sentence.
The only thing I noticed: a flick of her wrist around their necks along with a simple grind of her hips. With the swell of her hips and the sensual contours of her body This part was a bit awkward to read, I think because you have the word “hips” so close together it got a bit choppy.
Other than that, though, it was great (of course)!
The very first sentence really set everything up, as it should, and we kind of got a good glimpse of what the characters would be like just from that one sentence.
The only thing I noticed:
a flick of her wrist around their necks along with a simple grind of her hips. With the swell of her hips and the sensual contours of her body
This part was a bit awkward to read, I think because you have the word “hips” so close together it got a bit choppy.
Other than that, though, it was great (of course)!