Sentinel - Comments

Layout: I like the stained glass look it has.

Summary: Your summary is epic. It gives a good amount of necessary information, and it's intriguing. I almost wish that you hadn't added the last bit though, maybe have it as the short description? That's just my opinion though.

Chapter 1: The first paragraph is something, that's for sure. You add a lot of rich description to it and it really pushes the reader on.

trickled down the rock - rocks

“That’s war.” Shrugged the other. “You fight and fight until you forget why.” - I absolutely love this line.

She could see the room that she was in, now. - You don't need that comma.

You've said twice now that she's not in pain, and it's a bit redundant.

Overall it's a good chapter, I like how you introduced everyone. The ending is definitely unexpected. I don't really feel like reading the second chapter though, but that's nothing against you or the story. Because it is good. I can just tell it's not something that interests me personally. Good luck with it though, I hope this feedback helps you in any way.

I loved the story so far..love the way u have written it..plz keep updating regularly.. ☺

Ahhh Mibba hasn't been letting me comment on this. So frustrating.

Anyways, I really like your plot, it's super unique and really interesting. I also like the pace that you write at. Which sounds kinda weird when I say it like that, but what I mean is you move through your plot at a consistent pace and don’t get stuck on certain events. If that makes sense.

Your descriptions are also amazing, especially at the beginning of your chapters. When you get to the dialogue though, your descriptions kind of fall off a little bit and everything seems to get very dialogue centric. Which is okay, but I’d like to see the dialogue and description working together more instead of seeming like two separate things.

But yes, I think this is a really good story! Good luck with the rest of it!