Emergency - Comments

This was such a cute story. But the ending. The ending got me. I was smiling ear to ear, and then someone called his name. Sigh. I mean, I did love the ending, I'm not saying I hate it, but I just wish something else happened. But if I think about, maybe it was best since the two are just friends. I don't want something bad to happen between them and have that ruin their relationship, you know?

But whatever. I actually thought that the two were dating until he mentioned his ex-girlfriend. Maybe I'm too accustomed to people being together when they act as close as Tyler and Stephanie do. Silly romance movies have got me used to certain things in relationships.

Anyway, I absolutely loved reading this! It was cute and nice, and it was nice to read.

@ Audrey T
Oh my what the hey! I could've sworn I clicked on vendetta!! Ugh soo sorry!

@ mrs.stiglitz4207
I think you left a comment on the wrong story. I think your comment was meant for Vendetta - the Dragon Ball Z fanfic.

Eeeeeeek! I love this story I was hooked from the moment I saw it was dbz ! Vegetta is my absolute favorite character and I love Bulma so this story is like my heart now! I think the story telling was good and I saw no grammar errors that really jumped out at me it seemed perfect in every single way! I subscribed and recommended and I hope you have a great week!

Summary:
While I would've liked a little bit more info on the summary, I did enjoy what you did with it, especially knowing the story is based off the song (beautiful choice by the way!).

Chapter One:
I like how you started the story. It's descriptive and really shows your style (which is lovely, by the way).
I will admit that this was kind of cliche, but if you were going for something like that, then you nailed it.
Uh-oh, Tyler and his girlfriend broke up. I'm assuming that means, he and Steph will probably get together.
I can see why girls would break up with Tyler, especially if he and Steph act like they're in a relationship at times.
I don't know how I feel about Steph's sudden changes in feelings. It seemed really unrealistic and I'm not sure I liked that aspect of the story.

All-in-all, this was really well written with great description! I would've liked to know more about Tyler and Steph, but I think the route you took was pretty good too. I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes. Great job!

Sweet story.

Although it was a little predictable in some parts, it was still a really nice read.

At the start, I actually did think that Tyler and Stephanie were a couple, so when it was revealed that Tyler's girlfriend broke up with him because of his relationship with Stephanie, it was kind of an ah-ha moment. I think that was tied in really nicely.

As I was reading, I was also wondering about the fact that Tyler dragged Stephanie to the bonfire and then right after the two of them seemed to go their separate ways. That was something that seemed a lot more like a friendship than a romantic relationship. I think having a mix of the two (scenes that suggested they were in a romantic relationship and scenes that suggested it was a platonic relationship) was a great choice. I think it really helped to add to that bit of confusion both Tyler and Stephanie are probably feeling about their relationship and it made me, as a reader, kind of flip-flop on the idea of what they were.

Overally, I like this. I love that it's also part of a greater story (group of stories), so I'm looking forward to checking out the other work in this collection.

I definitely like how quickly you seemed to pick up the story. I've usually found that there's almost always a slow start to most stories, and while that's not bad, I always enjoy a story here and there's that jumps straight into the story. The only thing I would have liked to see a bit more is interaction between Tyler and Stephanie in the beginning. Maybe memories, whether in one character's head, or them reminiscing about parts of their relationship to help me kind of develop more of a connection to both characters, rather than just feeling like they are characters.

But it was still a wonderful story to read and I am excited to read My Heart next. Keep it up! I am interested in seeing where you go with future stories!