Last Hope - Comments

Summary:
Your summary really brought me into the story and made me curious to see what it was all about. I will say that I haven't read a Daryl/OC with this premise, so I'm quite excited!

Chapter One:
I like how you jumped right into the action. Sure it wasn't dealing with the undead, but the quiet environment of hunting and then approaching footsteps. It made me wonder if it was really Daryl or not.
I'm definitely wondering why Scarlett reacted the way she did to Daryl at first.

Oh no, Shane's in this one? I wonder if you're going to stick to canon and have him basically go crazy. If so, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how you portray all of it.
Some of your dialogue was super confusing. It was hard to keep up with who was speaking, which disrupted the flow of the story.

Oh snap, I was not expecting the daughter bombshell. I'm kind of in disbelief that Lexi would actually believe her mom was her sister in reality. It seems pretty far-fetched, honestly.

I did like the first chapter, however I wish you would've slowed down on a few parts and taken your time. You drew out things that didn't need it and sped up things that needed more attention, if that makes sense.

I am excited to see where you take this, so I'll be subscribing, though I will also suggest reading over this and making edits. There are a few grammar/spelling mistakes throughout it.

I have no idea who all the characters are (because I don't watch Walking Dead), but I freaking love this story. It's so amazing. But you did a wonderful job at describing the characters so someone like me can sort of tell what kind of person they are. However, I think you could add a little bit more about the characters that Scarlet knows that aren't with them, just so those who aren't familiar with the characters get more of an idea of the relationship with the other characters.

There is some history behind them, that's for sure. The mystery that surrounds their relationship in the beginning of the chapter is wonderful; it's obvious that the two know each other, but Scarlet's angry with him and the reader has no idea why. And their relationship is revealed toward the end! Freaking Lexi is just a big teaser, that's for sure. What a little punk.

The relationship between Lexi and Scarlet is adorable. They are sticking together because they are so close to each other. They both look out for each other and just try to get by in the horrible world that they're living in.

I absolutely loved the ending of the chapter. Their relationship is seriously the cutest thing in the entire world! I'm addicted to this story, and maybe I'll start watching the show so I can get familiar with the characters.

I think this story line is great. I've read lots of Daryl stories that make him too closed off. I think you are getting him just right.
I cannot wait to see how everything will play out if/when the truth comes out.

Nothing negative to say at all.
(How can i... it's Daryl for God's sake... lol)

I really like the idea behind this and can't wait to see where you take it. The flow of the chapter was smooth and I didn't come across any major mistakes that caused me to break away from what I was reading.

The relationship between Scarlett and Lexi is cool, and I'm also liking Scarlett's relationship with Daryl as well. I'm excited to see how you handle Lexi's relationship with Daryl and the rest of the group...

All in all this is a great start... Just one thing I'd suggest is changing the layout, it's a little hard to read. (If you need help I'd be happy to give you a hand)