The layout sets the tone for this and is really beautiful. That first line is both chilling and enticing. You have this amazing symmetry that flows so well. Particularly in the line about the clothing. That line really had my jaw dropping. The one thing I noticed was that you used primal nature and then primitive so its slightly redundant. But your sentence structure really elevates this piece. Although its short, I think each line packs a punch, and is delivered strategically. Every word feels deliberate, and your imagery was fantastic. Somehow (and amazingly) you managed to give action in this artistic, descriptive way that made it feel like more was happening not the page than was actually written. guess what I'm trying to say is it doesn't feel as short as it is.
June 10th, 2016 at 12:42am