May 3rd, 2016 at 04:32am
Prologue
Sci-fi is always touch and go with me because I'm more fantasy inclined but the summary just really intrigues me and okay, I might be really excited about the fact that they're not humans because why not?
I really like this introduction, of how you tell us a bit about their planet without bombarding us with all these details we don't need. We get a small sense of what Lyssa's life is on this planet, and then you just have this sudden change that occurs when they're suddenly too insignificant. That's just not good.
Why wasn't the raid spoke of??? That's just crazy and suspicious because just ignoring it doesn't make it go away, as is clear by the raids occurring more and more. It's so sad to read about them huddling on the sofa together, confused and unsure what's going to happen because one day that sofa might not be all that effective in providing that needed sanctuary.
Freedom
I have to admit, I was expecting that to occur. Of her friend convincing her to go out during a time when they shouldn't, despite her having reservations. It's a trope that I've got somewhat irritated about because it's always a friend, they always protest but give in, then something bad happens. I just feel that situations like that could be done in a different way, one that doesn't feel already exhausted.
The point of the chapter still resounds in your words - their fear, their desperation to escape and then their inevitable seeming capture at the end. I'm still fearful about what might now happen to Lyssa and why the humans do this, why they're taking people from her planet. I want to know more, to have more to placate my questions, so despite the trope the chapter was still good and effective.
If there was a third chapter, I so would have read it. As it is, I'm looking at the last update date like ??? because why has it been so long??
I audibly gasped at this layout. It's so lovely! Fae did a great job here. Definitely gives off vibes of being in space and surrounded by planets. Your two prisoners are really lovely together - they compliment each other without both being "perfect" in the looks department. The actual summary is an ideal length and gives away the "just right" amount of information; the conflict was set up quickly and no details were given, this really interests me! And ah! The aesthetic is so magical. I like how there's so much blue radiating from the black because it really brings everything to life.
Sci-fi has never really been my thing when it comes to reading but I must say that Mibba does it really well! I absolutely adored this right off because your introduction was so fantastic. The planet within the system reminds me of countries within Earth - this seems, so far, like it could really parallel some of the present-day issues and I hope it will!
The build of this chapter flowed along right to my liking. Not too slow, not too fast, and with a suspenseful turn right at the end. You also left of on a cliffhanger, which is perfect for a prologue. It makes me wonder about Ezra and how he got taken because I can already draw conclusions about where he was taken to thanks to the summary. Very nicely done!
OKAY yeah, everyone is getting kidnapped and there are frequent air raids but let's go outside. No wonder You quickly begin instilling the fear of Lyssa into the reader with your descriptive words and spooky setting, which is definitely a talent. I figured the two pictured would be a couple, and from this chapter it seems like they are. I can't wait to see what happens should they get split up or something.
It's funny to me that this has the stereotypical alien abduction in it because I was expecting humans to abduct aliens - I wonder if it's ironic that the humans are doing it this way, or if this is actually an alien abduction story. (Which either way would be fantastic!) You leave off the chapter at just the right moment in the story, too, drawing me in and keeping it at a good length at the same time.
Two mistakes: tress surround their - surrounding
and the laid back - then