This is a very intriguing introduction. Being born on a day that the sun turned black would be tale to tell, but the fact that it heralds the uniqueness of her only intensifies it. With no other chapters posted yet, I'm left to wonder about her. Was it the sun that made her special? Or was it her entering the world that turned the sun black? I'm inclined to believe that it was her entering the world as her entire tribe turn black when they're murderous, something which ought to eventually produce someone of such abilities like her.
Their reason behind wanting to protect her is very understandable. When someone is different or even unique, it seems there is no restraint when it comes to scientists and government officials. That fact that her blood could heal people would drive them crazy with lust because, like stated, many lust over eternal youth.
There were a couple of things I noticed while reading. First you mentioned that she was born fifteen years ago and yet in the last paragraph it says she turned seventeen six months ago. The explanation between the paragraphs doesn't serve as a time jump so the inconsistency is very prominent.
This line - my body changed color, from pale it went black - reads a bit odd and I'd reckon this change - my body changed color, from pale to black - so that it flows nicer.
In this line - it happened with everyone from our tribe - you use "our" when it should be "my" as it's just her referring to the tribe. The other time you used "our" is correct because it's referring to the tribe of her and the prophets.
The why behind them training her to be an assassin hasn't been revealed but it makes me curious. She can heal people and yet she's trained to kill people. It's intriguing. I do wish there were more chapters so that I could meet her better, but you do a very good job at pulling the reader in with this intro.
Their reason behind wanting to protect her is very understandable. When someone is different or even unique, it seems there is no restraint when it comes to scientists and government officials. That fact that her blood could heal people would drive them crazy with lust because, like stated, many lust over eternal youth.
There were a couple of things I noticed while reading. First you mentioned that she was born fifteen years ago and yet in the last paragraph it says she turned seventeen six months ago. The explanation between the paragraphs doesn't serve as a time jump so the inconsistency is very prominent.
This line - my body changed color, from pale it went black - reads a bit odd and I'd reckon this change - my body changed color, from pale to black - so that it flows nicer.
In this line - it happened with everyone from our tribe - you use "our" when it should be "my" as it's just her referring to the tribe. The other time you used "our" is correct because it's referring to the tribe of her and the prophets.
The why behind them training her to be an assassin hasn't been revealed but it makes me curious. She can heal people and yet she's trained to kill people. It's intriguing. I do wish there were more chapters so that I could meet her better, but you do a very good job at pulling the reader in with this intro.