Slow Movements - Comments

LAYOUT, SUMMARY, FIRST THOUGHTS: One-liner summaries are always interesting, and I wonder if the banner has any relation - as in, is the hand being caught or letting go? (Those movements would definitely seem to be in slow motion.) Very well done to pull readers in and allow them to draw conclusions about the story.

CHAPTER: The actual chapter opens wonderfully, and I rather enjoy the echo of closeness you used. You add details that allow the character to be pictured perfectly despite no photo being provided. The bits and pieces of the past being left out only add to the intrigue of this and I find myself sympathizing with the narrator despite not knowing much about her ghosts.

OVERALL: I liked how every part of the layout somehow related back to the text. Very well thought out. "Why can we not say "I love you" after ten months of dating?" is also an interesting thing to include - it challenges the idea of falling in love "too fast" - but her thoughts challenged the idea of making sure to tell someone you love them if you do. I hope you'll do a sequel to this (or a prequel even!) because this was so nicely done that I feel it comes to an end too quick after building up the way it did.

So this made me a little sad, with the narrators hesitance to tell Owen that they love him. The idea that once they tell him 'I love you' it becomes a little less real is a scary thought for anyone.

This is super super sweet - what a lovely little oneshot. I wish I could give you a much more detailed comment, but I really enjoyed this. The note was a really lovely little plot device, and I do like the main character's hesitance at telling Owen how they feel - almost as if verbalising that thought makes the feeling less authentic, which is an interesting idea. This was great, very calm and very simple. Well done!

I really adore the title as well as the layout. And the picture is adorable combined with the one-sentence opener that is intriguing.


Oh Heavens, your eye for detailing is perfect. Really, I love the way she describes him and how she feels. How he causes her to feel. It's beautiful. You describe everything, and not in that boring old way, but you really show instead of tell.

I almost expected him to find the note as I read. But I'm sort of glad he didn't Their relationship is wonderful. And I love how she says:

Quote

"I love you" comes and goes too effortlessly now, the true meaning lost before it has a chance to be understood. Those words are incredibly dense and life changing; the few I have said it to who left still haunt me. I do not want Owen to be another one of those ghosts.

I don't know, but this paragraph just struck a cord in me because I love it. I love this whole piece, short as it is. I have no criticism for this

Wonderfully written!