My Dearest Love. - Comments

I really liked this, you could really feel Layla's pain as you read and it kept me wanting to read more. The flow was great and the letter at the end was a nice touch to round of the story as a whole :)

This is an awesome Supernatural/Once Upon a Time crossover, and the actress playing the OC is also a character from Vampire Diaries. I love you haha. The first few chapters really took time to describe her agony over Killian’s death, it felt like I was reading something dead. I was carried away by the story’s lack of energy, and when she began reading Killian’s letter, my chest felt really heavy. I was that devastated. I suggest adding more, though haha. I refuse to believe that was all of it. I want to know more of what happened, I want to see more character development. I need to be convinced of their chemistry. Anyway, good job writing this.

I love me some Winchesters and Hook (even though I'm super behind in OUAT) so I was super excited to read a cross-over.

I think you set up the first chapter really nicely in terms of introducing the characters and making the readers really feel her emotions. I can only imagine what it would be like to live a life where you're kind of just expecting loss, and I think you really got those emotions across nicely. Be careful with how repetitive it is, though. I thought the repetitiveness was good for really drilling in how hard it was for her to lose him and stuff, but I think you used a lot of the same words/sentences over and over again, which can start to feel like it's dragging out.

I appreciate how good you are at ending chapters in a way that's just like ugh, my feels. You always choose sentences that really pack a punch and make me want to keep reading. I liked the hints of optimism that were in the second chapter, but it was still just as heartbreaking as the first.

Again, with the third chapter, I would be cautious of how repetitive things can you. You repeated the house by the sea with the white picket fence quite a few times, which I feel like is a little long-winded. After you say it the first time I think it's okay to just say "the house" or something similar, since we would know which one you're talking about, you know? Ahh, no, the end is making me feel like I'm gonna be super sad while reading the last chapter.

NO, THE FEELS IN THE LETTER, WHY. I think you really nailed how Hook speaks and were really able to show the love that they had for each other, even though they never actually directly interacted with each other. I also like that you were able to combine the Supernatural universe and the OUAT universe in such a great way.

Great job, I enjoyed this!

I really like how you set up the first chapter. Even though you were constantly repeating that she wasn't supposed to lose him, it didn't get annoying and only made me even more eager to find out what happened to Hook. I'm familiar with both TV shows, but I bet that even if I wasn't that I would still understand the character's pain of her loss and want to continue reading!

The second chapter was contrasting nicely her hope of the future and the reality that it didn't happen and won't happen, which was heartbreaking. It's interesting that we haven't even seen the couple interact but I understand how deep their relationship was.

I did get momentarily confused at the start of the third chapter because I thought we were still with her in that house by the sea, with her brothers keeping an eye on her, and then you say that only Henry knows about the house and no one came looking for her. So that could be something to tidy up a little in future editing.

The letter was absolutely heartbreaking, and I could really hear it being said in Hook's voice, so I think you really nailed his way of speaking. Definitely have to say congratulations to you for being able to not have the two main characters actually interact but successfully convey their love for each other. Nice job!

Layout + Summary
UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! The layout is soooooo pretty and the banner is to die for. And I love Hook. As well as Supernatural, so epicness is epic!

Chapter 1
Nope. I don't wanna read anymore. I have the feeling that my heart will break if I go further. But UGH I have to know more. Have to know what happens. You fiend!

Hell, she’d lost count of how many times she’d lost both of her brothers.
^This made me laugh. I can just imagine Sam calling to tell her about how Dean just died randomly in the shower.

Chapter 2
I knew it. I'm crying. Why you do dis to meh?

I've never wanted the picket-fence life. But I can see the appeal.

God, why are you killing me?

Chapter 3
No! Don't read the letter! I just know I'll cry more.

I love your detailing. And the repition is actually very unique to the story.

Chapter 4
Her heart broke? You mean mine, right? UGGGGHHHH!

God, you did a really good job with this. I certainly would love to read the roleplay, if I may If you'll excuse me, I have to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart now. (Why am I a sucker for sob stories?)

Whyyyy ):::

It's so good! so angsty!

I really like the beginning of this and can't wait to see more!