Pieces - Comments

To be honest, this felt more poetic than narrative to me. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though. It had a rhythm to it that was really neat and the one thing that felt a bit odd to me was the lines that you've italicised. They just didn't feel as if they fit in with the rest of the drabble. But this really speaks volumes about how people can put so much of their worth on someone else's shoulders and how that is something that normally ends in disaster. People change, feelings changes, life changes - giving someone that much influence over you is never a good idea. You really convey that well and the speaker's overwhelming desire to be over the person they're on about really conflicted with the undertone of desperation that was also present, of wanting that person to come back to them.

i could relate to this drabble on a very emotional level. that brand of heartbreak is something i've only dealt w/ twice, & it doesn't get easier. it seems the drabble explains the emotions of someone whose recently heartbroken & going through the motions of denial & searching for the person who they first fell in love w/, not the one rearing its ugly head.

bc everyone has two faces, & we're only ever burdened w/ the fake one

I think it's interesting to think about relationships in the way that this drabble looks at. Every time we give ourselves up to somebody, we give them a little bit of ourselves and I don't think we're ever really the same. You've captured this in such a heartbreaking way here, and it's done in such a way that it really makes the person reading really think. Sometimes I wonder if relationships are worth it because of stuff like this, but I've never been able to articulate my feelings about it, and this does it in a way.

The only confusion I have is over the line You broke me; you broke what it was me -- the last part doesn't make too much sense. I feel like maybe there's a word missing? It did disrupt the flow a little bit for me and distracted me from the main part of the story.

Other than that, I enjoyed this. Nice job!

I think you captured heartbreak well in this drabble. Maybe a bit more extensive than most of us feel like, but I think that made the drabble more impact. It's really true that it just takes one person to break you and it can just feel like you'll never be the same without them when they leave. I like that you compared it to pieces not fitting back together, because I think that's really true.

I liked how you formatted it as well, with the one line of italics and then a little blurb underneath. It broke up the drabble nicely while still keeping everything cohesive and making sense.

Nice job!

this reminds me of my first love. i was on the receiving end of heartbreak (tho that's selfish to say bc we both broke e/o's hearts & were young). but even though we were @ an age where ppl thought it was impossible to feel such a way, i don't think i've recovered to the extent i thought i would. how strange it is that in this world, one person can break you in a way that will make the pieces of your being unable to be placed together like it was before. like a shattered vase. even if you tried, you couldn't put it back together. where would you even start? & even though it's impossible, you still try.

those are my exact thoughts upon reading this. pure brilliance on your part. wonderful read!