Dear Love - Comments

  • Qhuinn.

    Qhuinn. (550)

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    I was wowed by the first chapter. They say to pull your readers in on the first sentence otherwise you'll lose them and you definitely did that. The strength behind it shows just how caught up the narrator is on this person they're writing to. Because obvious they are counting.
    I feel like this is so relatable on the level we've all had that one person we want to forget but cant, that always plague our thoughts even when we don't want them to. Its simple and sweet and to the point, without an excess of details that leaves us overwhelmed.
    May 25th, 2017 at 04:44am
  • Kol.

    Kol. (100)

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    I wasn't exactly sure what I should expect when I first clicked on this story, but I wasn't disappointed that's for sure. It was beautiful written and it flows really well. I like that it isn't cliché, and how easy it was to get hooked to the point of needing to know what was going to happen next. And what I really loved was that I felt like I could feel the MC's emotions and like I was watching the story unfold with every chapter, so as I read it would play out like a movie in my head.

    I can't wait for this to be updated so I can read some more and see whatever you have planned to unfold! :)
    June 22nd, 2016 at 09:20pm
  • Alex Moore.

    Alex Moore. (100)

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    @ inej ghafa
    Wow dont you give elaborate comments!
    May 3rd, 2016 at 10:48am
  • lost em.

    lost em. (100)

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    Well fuck. The first chapter really spoke volumes to me. That's how I felt once my ex and I broke up. Because it was more of a one-sided love and all the feelings and memories just stuck to me like glue where they rolled off of him like water over spandex. Ah, the feeling of heartbreak and flashbacks...

    I love stories told through letters (and poems). I find it unique and really enticing, when done right. And it's just amazing here. You've done a really good job at conveying the MC's emotions and your detailing! Gah! It's like you've taken all that is good in love and just spread it over this wonderful story packed with such raw emotion.

    Chapter five is my favorite, so far. Mostly because I love water as well and beaches (though I hate sand, go figure!) and bonfires.

    This is truly a sad and beautiful story. I can't wait to read more Cute
    May 3rd, 2016 at 10:01am
  • dawn of light

    dawn of light (100)

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    UGGGHH MY HEART. you made my heart skip this beat because it's so flipping cute. You writing is soooo romantically inclined, I kinda blushed while reading this because I imagined myself as the MC lmfao

    "I just want you to know that you ruined my life and I will always love you." THIS LINE MESSED ME UP. I just wanna hug whoever is sending the letters. Your writing is pure perfection and girl, you should know this because I love everything you write. I definitely loved the tone of the writer~ you make him have this sense of humor while writing and that gives us an amazing look at his personality. You make him pick his words so carefully while maintaining the sweet atmosphere of his affection for his girl. UGH I WANNA CRY BC THIS IS TOO CUTE. my poor heart.

    You just know what to write. I am amazed by it because the words you pick are so magical and full of emotion. I WANT HER TO JUST LOVE HIM.
    April 9th, 2016 at 04:52am
  • kaul hilo

    kaul hilo (100)

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    Ghoul of 2016
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    The summary is short, sweet and to the point. I wouldn't necessarily say it hooks me, but it definitely intrigues me to read on further to see what the story is about tehe I also really like the layout!

    Chapter One

    I love the way that you started this off. Admittedly, the 487 days to be exact, but who’s counting? made me laugh, because even though I can tell this may have sad vibes, I'm glad you slipped some humour in that works well. The way you've written the letters is very personal and I really like the touch. It's natural and flows well, it doesn't feel forced in the slightest.

    I also like that this isn't written too flowery or in purple prose, either. It's rather simple which gives it a more personal and realistic touch to the letter style of the story. I think that way you've able to present the emotions better and let us be more in touch with them, instead of masking them with metaphors and whatnot.

    I also love the way you ended this chapter, And I know that you’ll probably never read these letters, but if you do, I just want you to know that you ruined my life and I will always love you. You've portrayed the bittersweet reality of it really well.

    Chapter Two

    I definitely like that now you've thrown us into the beginning of the relationship. I also enjoy the fact that you haven't made their first meeting perfectly cliché - she's not happy, they didn't fall in top of a Ferris Wheel. It's a more accurate and realistic representation of how love seems to go (you know, sometimes). It's actually quite endearing and funny, the fact that she threw up on his shoes when they first met, yet she didn't even apologise, she just walked off. It's bittersweet because whilst it's sad the relationship ended, it's still humorous.

    Maybe a little bit in love with the idea of you. I love love love this line so much. I love that you didn't go for the cliché love at first sight, instead it was... love at first idea? Either way, probably one of my favourite lines of this story so far.

    Chapter Three

    This chapter, particularly the end, was rather intriguing. I like that we're starting to get more snippets into what type of people the character's are like, particularly our narrator. Even with how personal this piece is, you still do the whole show rather than tell thing really well. You've also made the love interest of the story very intriguing and mysterious. You give us snippets without giving too much away, which doesn't leave me confused but definitely leaves me wanting to know more about her.

    You put your hand on my shoulder, leaned in, and told me the only secret I’d ever need to know. I just want to let you know that you are so good at ending chapters. You do it in a way that makes me immediately click the next chapter because I'm yearning to know more. Every single end has hooked me in even more.

    Chapter Four

    You can really see the love that the narrator has for the girl, just through the way he speaks about them. It's so little but it really does have its impact. I also really love how carefree this girl seems to be, since she seems to not be bothered by anything she does to the poor narrator lmfao She just shrugs off everything and I kind of like that attitude we've been shown about her.

    All in all, I have really, really loved this entry!

    Overall

    You portrayed the trope very, very well. I like that the chapters were short but they were packed with this rather personal emotion. That kind of personal touch made it easier to understand and become attached to the narrator as well. I also like that you didn't make this a cliché! You really portrayed the romance between the two characters quite well, even if at first it was only one-sided and barely there. I hope to see more from this story in the future and learn more about them! I think the only criticism I have is that some sentences ran on for a little longer than maybe necessary, but otherwise there were no mistakes! This was a wonderful entry!!
    April 6th, 2016 at 12:05am
  • squidward tentacles.

    squidward tentacles. (255)

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    NaNoWriMo 2015
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    I NEED THIS IN MAH LIFE OMGYES
    January 30th, 2016 at 07:59am