This was well written. I applaud your writing skills, for they are magnificent. I loved this two-shot, it was very detailed in a short amount of words. I liked that the victims of his abuse and power got justice, even if it was in a totally cruel, horrible way. I wish that Dalton would have just been sent to jail for the rest of his life or something, but like the story said, everyone was afraid of him. And that would suck. But he got what he deserved. Really good job writing this!
Love love LOVE your opening line. It definitely caught my attention and curiosity almost instantly. I like how you immediately wrote about Dalton's mental state in the opening because that readers will most likely read on!
I liked his sense of humor. He's abducted yet his thoughts are coming off as comedic lol. I thought this was a nice layer of his character.
Loved the twist that an old lady with the iron thing has him! I find that quite interesting because a person wouldn't normally suspect an elderly person to do this. Loved it!
"Did he get kidnapped by a Golden Girl?" HAHAHA HIS JOKES HAHAHAA.
WAIT SHE DIDN'T KIDNAP HIM ??? what ??? so who put him in the trunk?
He's soooooo sarcastic and just so full of it~ I love it
I am definitely intrigued by HOW THE HELL HE GOT IN THIS LADY'S TRUNK. you seriously got me there haha. I wasn't expecting that!
I 100% love this lady's personality. She's just as witty as he is and she's sweet. BUT her attitude changed almost instantly and so I'm curious. Where will this go????
THE FACT THAT GERTIE SAID SAFETY FIRST HAHAHAHAHHAA. THis is suppose to be horrible but I couldn't stop laughing at that line
Your way with words is so easy to follow! I liked his thought process and the many times she nudged or smacked his head for his attention lol. She acts like she's his own grandmother. And I love that she is like this because this is what made her character likable.
HAHAHAHA SHE BROUGHT HER FAV TAPE HAHAHAHAH. she's too much
She's so precious and sweet and just full of life and jokes SHE IS SO CHEERFUL And she tries to make dalton open up uggggghhh such a sweetheart
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WAIT ALL APART OF THE PLAN ????? WHAAAAAAT u made me believe she was innocent And sweet ooOOoooh ur a good writer !!
AGAIN, I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
"You came home in this. It's only fair you'd be buried in it too." O M G THIS LINES DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE I can't even right now. Underlying meaning so I love it
Oh that karma was badddddddd. SUCH A BADASS WAY TO GET BACK AT HIM BUT STILL WICKED AND SCARY. I'm over the edge of my seat. OH THAT NASTY FAMILY TWIST
shit shit shit "WELL DONE" omg gertie is so scary
WELL, I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
Your writing is mysterious but clear, if that makes sense. I read both chapters effortlessly. I especially liked the balance between the witty dialogue and the actual plot! Layout was a plus since it's simple and it fits with your piece perfectly. Such a great, unique entry (as you could see from my thoughts lol)! Job well done!