Broken Loyalty - Comments

Lol I love your sense of humor!! Your awesome

@ BlueEyedAngel2
Same here, probably why I don't have a problem writing him this way. Hey, you write what you know. Writing his sensitive type side takes a few tries. Which is the main reason there aren't many so far.

There is something seriously wrong with him though. If you could only hear the arguments that we have. I honestly thinks he forgot who is the writer in this relationship.

Yea lol... I'm not sure yet . I like his sensitive side but.. well not too keen on the jerk side .... well I'm way too familiar with those men

@ BlueEyedAngel2
I'm sorry dear!!! I wasn't planning a cliffhanger for this chapter but it seemed like a good place to stop. Gotta leave you wanting more, right?

So my dear, what are your thoughts on our lovely Lucas?

Ok two things... 1. I LOVE this story... 2 why does everyone have to do so many cliff-hangers!? Gah I'm on the edge of my seat like come on what's next!!?

@ grace_lou_freebush
I can't tell you how many turns this story has taken. None were planned!!! Lucas was never meant to be this bad and sadly, I think he may get worse before he gets better. He is really starting to piss me off, and I'm really rethinking that killing him off plan.

I love that you love this!!! It makes me feel all squishy inside! When I first thought of this story the females had rights, sorta but once again I said "where is the fun in that?" I needed something different.

You can't decide iif you want Lucas to show up or not??? I can't decide either! You don't have to bite your nails for long, I'm working on the next chapter as we speak.

Hardly ever, I feel haha! I once had two characters who were supposed to meet and fall in love. In their first meeting, it went totally wrong, and I had to change the whole plotline. -_-

I loved this chapter, too! One of my new favorite stories! I can't decide if I want Lucas to show up now or not! This whole the females have no rights to themselves thing is driving me nuts. Like Lucas should not be able to get away with his evilness! I can't wait (again) for the next chapter; keep up the good work!

@ grace_lou_freebush
Lol, I'm sorry my dear! Not to worry though I am working on banging out chapter 11. I have a bit of time to work on it this morning and as long as these characters do as they are told maybe I can update again today....but how often does that happen?

Gah! I was so excited for your update, and then BAM! Cliffhanger. I shall have to be patient for the next chapter. I am so loving this, though. Go, Grace! I have a feeling she can channel more Alpha than Lucas is anticipating, though.

@ grace_lou_freebush
Yes I am. I got crazy busy with work and and I've been through training (moving on up). I'm not allowed to have electronics on the floor while at work and I've been working on two chapters in a notebook that will be posted soon. It's a lot of back and forth between the two chapters. At one point I had to walk away because Lucas was pissing me off so bad with things he was saying and doing. I almost wrote him a scene that would kill him off and to give her a new mate the would kiss the ground she walked on BUT, not much fun in that.
I keep thinking of ways that he can redeem himself and then he does something else that is stupid and it woon work.

Good news? I got out of work early and came home to continue working on it! Soon, I promise!

Are you still planning on working on this? I admit that I've gotten really into it. I really loathe Lucas and I want to see how everything works out! I understand that he's been hurt, but he needs to stop acting like a spoiled brat. You don't get everything you want in life, especially when other people are involved who have their own wants and dreams. I would love to see some interaction between Lucas and Angie; I feel like she would really straighten him out. I hope you're still planning on updating!

@ Leaving Memories
Honesty time, Beth was never planned for this story. Lucas pissed me off and I figured I'd get back at him. What better way than with a female who doesn't take shit from anyone? I do have a feeling Lucas is going to hate me, but to that I say "go play in traffic Lucas!" Grace needs somebody on her side!

Somehow the character always win in those arguments.
Buuutttt, on the terms of this chapter...
GET HIM BETH, GET HIM!
Now that's that out of my system, another brilliant chapter. I think it's good that Grace stood up for herself against Lucas and didn't let him completely have his way. I also liked how you introduced Beth into Grace's life.
I can't wait to read more!

@ Leaving Memories
Thank you thank you! That is exactly how I was trying to portray him. When this story idea first came to me, Lucas actually wasn't supposed to be this bad. To tell you the truth, I just want to throw him out of the window some days. I'm working on the next chapter and had it halfway written when he spoke up saying "delete it, now! This is how it is going to go." That led me to arguing with him about who is the author and who is the character....of course, he won....

Personally, I don't like how Lucas is going about things; however, I do understand him. He's hurt, the girl he was crushing on hardcore was taken by his best friend. For 6ish years he had to live with that pain and betrayal, while his best friend got the girl of his dreams. How does one deal will all those emotions? The result is Lucas and since he had to deal with those emotions, he became more vulgar and takes what he wants. At this moment in your story, he may not realize how to properly treat a woman because all he can feel is betrayal, sadness, anger and pain, so he's going to take whatever he pleases to make those emotions subside for a brief amount of time.
Or at least that's how I see it.
On another note! - I love your story and writing style and can't wait to see where you'll be taking this!

@ P.B.Darkside
Yeah, I've gone through and have noticed some typos as well, and want to go back and fix everything. My computer crashed (I've had problems with it in the past) so I've had to write everything from my phone until I can get a new one. I'm glad you gave it a chance, it means a lot. You don't hate Lucas yet???? Initially, he was just supposed to be a character you disliked a bit, but as I continued to develop him he turned into one to hate.

Thank you again for the read and for the comment, and feel free to point out those typos I won't get mad. It will help me in the long run.

This type of story isn't usually my thing, but I gave it a read, and I really like it. It has a nice flow and it makes me laugh. Poor Grace, I hope Lucas doesn't treat her too badly. Haven't gotten around to hating him yet, but we'll see. I'm excited to find out what happens next. Caught a few typos, but other than that you're doing great. Keep it up!