Organs - Comments

You convey an awful lot with such a small amount of words, and that is honestly what makes this drabble so powerful. You touch upon each individual sense and how they're relevant, though I do think having them listed like they are throws it off a bit. I think it'd make more of an impact if they were arranged, on the same lines they're on, in a sort of step format, stretching from the left all the way to the right. It'd look more aesthetically pleasing too.

I honestly really like just how much this drabble speaks to the reader without being made redundant by too many words. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

Here to comment as a prize goodie for the Phobias Contest

This is a great drabble. In short words you managed to convey a powerful message about love in a poetic manner. I love the sense of imagery you used to describe with details, how this person feels towards another human being, by seeing, smelling, touching, listening and tasting him in a lustful and lovely way. I agree with the previous commentators, because it shows the significance of the narrators lust and love. The layout is delicate and beautiful.

It was written very well. I enjoyed reading it.
Great job!

I really like the idea behind this, and the way that you explain love / lust through every single sense. It's interesting, because most people deal with love in a purely emotional manner but a lot of people forget that there's loads of things that lead to romance in the first place and most are to do with senses. A certain smell, a brush of the hand -- it's all linked together. It's super-clever of you to actually use this as the basis of the drabble, because it definitely makes me think further than the story itself.

I really enjoyed the organ part as well -- again, it's getting away from this purely emotional state and looking at the idea of how your entire body reacts to love and lust. It's a super-interesting concept, and you've written it really well. Nice job!

This was a nice little drabble. I like that you went with the senses as the basis for the story, since there's so many different ways you can go with it.

I feel like you could have formatted it a bit differently to make it flow a little more nicely. Having the list of the sense at the beginning kind of broke up the story sort of broke it up a bit too much, and considering it's a drabble it made things feel a bit disconnected. Maybe just incorporating them into a sentence or something of the sort would help it to feel more cohesive and make it a bit nicer to read.

Nice job though, I enjoyed reading it!