Overrated - Comments

Summary / Layout: I love the images you've chosen for the banner, it looks really cool and I'm interested to see how it fits in with the story. Though the summary is short, it intrigues me with who Sam Kinson is and why he's important to the narrator.

Content: Oh man, though this was short, this really packed a punch. I was drawn to John immediately, his feelings of being second best to a girl he's really into resonated with me. His actions of seeing Elway and and lying to her to protect himself are actions I think a lot of us go through when we like someone and we're competing in a sense, and I think you portrayed it perfectly. I could feel my heart wrench at the end when Elway said she wouldn't go to Sam's and then when John gets that text from her, he knows he shouldn't go pick her up but she does anyways. The thing I found the most interesting was trying to figure out whether Sam was someone she was involved with or even just a friend that she had feelings for but perhaps weren't returned. What I didn't like though (but also loved, because I loved how you were able to make me unsympathetic to Elway's character) was that you wrote Elway in a way that could be perceived as the audience siding with her for not being able to give up Sam, but also going against her because she enjoys the attention that John gives her and doesn't mind leading him on, even though it's clear he has feelings. This makes me sort of hate Elway now, haha! Regardless, I thought this was beautifully written and I'm totally envious of the way you're able to break my heart in such few words. Nice job!

@ dawn of light
I tried commenting on your profile but my comment seemed to disappear into the void Anyway, thank you for your comment, I'm really glad you liked the story

This entire thing is a rollarcoster. And I love that. Right off the bat, I grew a liking to John. He seemed uneasy and he has every right to be. Even though it was short, I felt like his character was perfectly fleshed. I got to know his emotions and his actions through the small scenes. I especially liked the scene when he went to her job~ this just showed me how invested he was in this relationship. His girl is with this overrated Sam character and that makes me think of how charming can Sam be? I am very intrigued by Sam and Elway's relationship. The factor of mystery is perfectly played into this. I thought it was nicely written! Great job!

I love the total mystery in this and it leaves you hanging and wanting more!! You've definitely got my attention, I'm excited for this story!

I love the total mystery in this and it leaves you hanging and wanting more!! You've definitely got my attention, I'm excited for this story!