March 17th, 2016 at 04:29am
Damn! That was something. I really liked how it progressed, not too fast but not slow either. It was so real because it actually does happen in reality.
I wasn't sure what to expect exactly when the setting was revealed, but it doesn't surprise me. I like how in depth you go with how she's feeling, and the fact that you stated how many shots she had taken in the beginning. It gave an insight into how addled her mind might be by that point.
I'd like to say that you left some questions unanswered, but if you really think about it it's pretty obvious.
This girl had some sort of arrangement with somebody, and the rule she broke was falling for him. I like how by the end, when she's realizing that this isn't the distraction she needs/wants, it's because she's so caught up in her feelings for the man that broke her heart.
I do wonder if she had continued with the course of action, or if she had been able to back out? I'm glad you didn't specify what happened though.
Overall this is a great story, entirely believable.
How did your mark come out?? If this is a highschool assignment and I was your teacher this would be super uncomfortable to read :P...and if it's a university writing class i bet your proff is wondering if this is true.
One critique i will offer is that the story needs to give a whole picture. There was definetly suspense and mystery, but you need a few more descriptions. It needs something unique, some more details to make it pop past the tv dramas and the common stories, you know?
Anyways it was an interesting read. All the best!