Seas of Affliction - Comments

This is the very first mermaid story I've read, So I'm honestly clueless on the subject. I've only read the prologue so far and I can honestly say. This is so well written already. Florence seems like a real bad ass even if she was sort of doubting her position. I will only say one thing, in a sentence talking about the male's hair who I'm assuming him to be Theo maybe? I haven't read that far but in that sentence you've got a spelling mistake love, instead of nape of his neck it says nap. Other than that its beautiful. I'm definitely going to keep reading and commenting as I go along but for now my general words for you is. I can already tell she's going to quickly become my new favorite character in an Original Fiction I've read.

beautiful writing, beautiful layout, and bad ass main female. Well done <3

Chapter one:

This totally reminds me of a dark twist on the little mermaid, dude I'm totally in love with this the fact that the sea witch is asking her for the blood of an honest liar got me so damn excited for whats to come dude, I can't even with this how excited I am to catch up on this and to read things through all the way. I feel bad that her father was killed by a hunter like that totally upset me I lost my father and I'm like, angry that the hunter killed her father.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this Priscilla? I have a bad feeling.

@ Shatterheart
Oh goodness! That's such a compliment, thanks! It's impossible for me not to write my female characters in a way that I envision a 'strong female' to be written but the most difficult part is to make her more than just that, like have her make mistakes and such (something we'll see for sure). And I'm a little back and forth on how I want Theo and Florence's relationship to be romance-wise, I'm always worried about developing things too fast or unnaturally so it's great it seems to be received as natural! Thanks again for the comment, much appreciated!!

YAY! An update!

I love that the relationship between Florence and Theo is something that is slowly developing... at a very natural pace considering they are from two species seemingly at war. I mention this because I feel like a lot of writer make the mistake of pushing a relationship too fast. The way you are having the two develop trust is great.

Can Florence get any more badass? She is becoming one of my favorite female protagonists on Mibba. And Theo too is just getting better and better. He is such a gentleman.

I loved the update! Thanks for updating!

Whoa, this is not your beloved Disney princess story, that is for sure. And I have a feeling that the picturesque happily-ever-after may not be for this story.

I love this story so far. From the dark color scheme of the layout to the very descriptive writing. I absolutely love how Florence is so different from the mainstream imagery of mermaids being this innocent, beautiful creatures that wear seashells and sing songs sweetly all day. This whole world that you created, really contrasts from the idea; the treaty between human kind and the merfolk, the conflict between the two and even the difference in anatomy.

And I am loving Florence and how fierce she is! Her strength and pride! And Theo the disgraced captain... there is something very dignified about him that I love. And when these two banter... ugh, it's everything.
Priscilla feels like a very intimidating grey-area character... I think I like her for now, but I am curious about the price she named.

There are also little bits that you mixed in so effortlessly that displays the "culture shock" Florence has to deal with in her adjustment into the human world. These are great and I can't get enough!

I love this story! How it only has two comments and 18 recs are beyond me. This story is on my Recommendation list!

I'm going to preface this by saying everything i've ever read about mermaids has been totally lame to me. The things I read were always too much cute boy falls in love with a mermaid and they live happily ever after as an 'odd' couple. Just no.

This, this has been an amazing read so far. I love the descriptions, I love how every scene feels full and drawn out and just amazing. The lore, the different creatures besides mermaids, the time period...just everything I love it. So keep up the amazing work I can't wait to read the next update.

can i just say how much i love your layout? it's so simple w/ all these colors that correspond so perfectly w/ one another. i love it. this is a very cool take on mermaids being that i've never read anything remotely like this. i did see some grammar errors, but they were minor, simple things that could be taken care of w/ a quick proofread. & im currently just marveling @ the beauty that is your writing skill bc the amount of detail you have is balanced perfectly & i can see this happening in my head if i close my eyes, kind of like im watching a movie.

wonderful job!