I love this (and not just because it's a parody like my own ) In the first chapter I noticed on little thing Phillis? What're you going home so early?" The dialogue reads really awkwardly, maybe if you changed going to doing? Unless it's meant to read that way. I only read the first chapter but I'm looking forward to reading the rest, and the pending updates. :D
I love this (and not just because it's a parody like my own )
In the first chapter I noticed on little thing Phillis? What're you going home so early?"
The dialogue reads really awkwardly, maybe if you changed going to doing? Unless it's meant to read that way.
I only read the first chapter but I'm looking forward to reading the rest, and the pending updates. :D