Defiance - Comments

Hi there! Just dropping in to give you the first part of your Mibbaween treat

Let me start off by saying I love this layout. The moving stars in the background add the perfect touch. As for the story itself, I've never really been into Star Wars but this was a lovely little oneshot! I'm a sucker for the "forbidden love" troupe. Your writing style is amazing; there's just enough detail without it being an information dump, especially for someone who's not familiar with the series like me. I did notice a few grammatical errors but overall it was a very enjoyable read!

I lost my first comment so let's hope this goes through. I absolutely adore your banner and background - they compliment each other quite well. Your summary is very to the point - FN2191, Kylo, love. I like that you give details that those unfamiliar with the series would need to know, too.

As for the actual chapter: This was rather enjoyable in length and content. At first I felt like one chapter wasn't enough and that more background needed to be given but once the more personal side to both of their thoughts came forward - well, I loved it. Kylo using the Force to vocalize his feelings instead of speaking was a good touch. This is the first Star Wars fix in which this detail was used during sex, which I think adds to his character quite well. Amazing job with that, it definitely stands out to me as a very unique addition. Your description helps me to really envision the situations - from being caught to standing alone in someone else's room - without being overkill for those of us that are familiar with the series. I also really liked that she was unable to really identify what was going on outside of knowing that she liked it; something that seems very in character for s Stormtrooper, which is rare in fic lately.

In no way did this feel as long as it actually is thanks to your talent and flow. Obviously it works perfectly as a one shot but I think you've done something great here if exploring this as a full story is a possibility. One small thing that I notices was some words being misused or incorrect punctuation so I do recommend s quick edit. This was pretty perfect, so thank you for creating something so hot nice~

This was a really great one shot. I thought everything about it was perfectly done. The pace, the length, and the story telling all worked well together, and I love that I felt like I got a full (with a solid ending) even though it was done in one chapter and 5000 words.

As someone who hasn't seen the Star Wars film (pretty much all my knowledge of it is pieces I've picked up from Tumblr), I think you did a great job of providing just enough background information to keep people new to the fandom informed, but not so much that people in the fandom feel bored or feel like you're retelling the film. I thought how you balanced that was great.

I also really liked your narrator's voice. I thought 9-1 (91?) felt honest and real and I liked that her thoughts didn't overwhelm the story telling. Even though I got to see into her mind, I didn't feel like that muddied the story at all.

9-1 and Kylo Ren's interactions came off as really natural. The way they spoke to each other, kind of formal at times and kind of familiar at others, paired really well with the complexity of their relationship. I really liked that even 9-1 is falling in love with him and they obviously have a romantic relationship, she still recognizes his rank and position and how that could affect - not to mention how his powers could be used against her. I thought it was a nice touch that even though she's in love, she's remained aware of the risks associated Kylo Ren.

@ AJDWriter
ooh. I haven't watched that show either. Lol I have so many tv shows that I need to catch up on.

@ gatesguardian.

Jai Courtney. Such perfection. I enjoyed him in I, Frankenstein and the first season of Spartacus. You get to see his butt! Lol

@ AJDWriter
well, thank you again for making me not regret trying something new!

& ERIC IS SO HOT. I love that actor! *swoons*

@ gatesguardian.

Do itttt! Bob's Burgers is the best! I can watch the same episode on repeat and still laugh at it. And don't get me wrong, I love a good Avenged Sevenfold and The Walking Dead fan fiction, heck I even like Divergent (Eric is a hottie) and AFI fan fiction, but like I said this was the first Star Wars fan fiction that caught my eye.

@ AJDWriter
once again, thank you so much.
I mostly write band fiction but have a huge love for Star Wars. after I saw TFA I knew that I wanted to write a Star Wars fic but wasn't sure what I wanted to write about. then one day it just came to me! Kylo Ren falls in love! haha.

I haven't watched Bob's Burgers, but my friends love it. I should check it out because I've heard nothing but good things about it.

@ gatesguardian.

You know what makes your response to my comment super awesome? The fact that you used a Bob's Burgers gif to express how you feel. I LOVE that show. I literally watched the latest season on Netflix in two days! But, anyway, yes the story was great. A lot of people here are more into fan fictions about band members, but this was truly great.

@ AJDWriter
OMG. thank you! seriously! you're comment made my day!



^ like this is me currently, haha.

no but really. thank you so much. I hadn't received any comments and was starting to think my story just sucked and that was why.

I definitely cannot imagine Kylo all lovey dovey. it would definitely be a sight to see and maybe something like that will happen eventually, but I haven't quite decided just yet.

I've always been one of those Star Wars fans who watched all the films, but still asked my husband and dad numerous questions about what was going on. I really enjoy your style of writing here. You narrate with assurance and use terms that really give the story a deep authenticity. You have made the characters intriguing, which had me really curious to see what happens with them. I like how you kept Kylo Ren in character, not making him to be some lovey dovey fan adorned "good guy." He has some kind moments, but they aren't too overwhelming or unbelievable. I was kind of hoping to see them get to this point, meaning I would have liked to have seen the awkward falling in love stage and see his hard shell start to crack from the beginning, but you managed to start this with a nice pace. I really like the moving stars background. It really adds to the story. Great job! This is the first Star Wars fan fiction I've ever taken an interest to. Keep up the amazing writing!