August 6th, 2016 at 04:09pm
I like how this story kind of just started off with casual time travelling. As if traveling to the year 3091 just accidentally happens all the time so they just kind of embraced it. I love Raveena's and Azaria's characters already. Their arguing really makes them seem like genuine best friends and I really love that. AND MYLES. AH. I can tell he's gonna be freaking adorable and I can't wait for him to appear more (which I really hope he does??)
The all dialogue in the last chapter was great. I love when chapters are only dialogue, it feels like we get a cool feeling for the characters and their personalities, and you wrote it super well.
Can't wait to see what happens next!
Layout / Summary
The layout for this is stunning. I love the title banner, I love how well the colours all gel together and I love the picture in the sidebar. It's all just very pretty. Your summary works exceptionally well to hook the reader in as well -- I'm definitely intrigued to see how this all ties in together!
Content
I love this already, oh man. I'm literally like 2 paragraphs in and I'm already in love. Time-travellers are a massive love of mines in stories, and having drunken time-travellers? I need this in my life. The characters just make everything so much more exciting as well, because I know people who act like this (minus the time-travelling, of course) when they're drunk, so I'm instantly giggling a little bit.
What I adore about this is that the future isn't this huge flashy thing, it's just... normal. I mean, it's different in ways (the clothes and the suchlike) but it's so simple so far. The shops, the food, the cute boys -- it's a very YA take on time-travel so far and I love it. I don't think I've ever read anything on here that deals with the simplicities of the future and doesn't go straight for spaceships and intergalactic war straight from the get-go. It's refreshing, and I love it. I am a little worried about Raveena's dismissive logic -- screwing with the future (literally) is not a good idea and I'm actually pretty scared to see if that happens and what it'll do. I'm thinking Butterfly Effect and all of that jazz, which incidentally is one of my favourite movies of all time so I'm both terrified and intrigued as anything at the same time.
Concrit
Didn't notice anything glaringly obvious while I was reading through!
Overall
This is great! I love the plot idea, I love the way you write and the way you bring Raveena and Azaria's personalities across almost effortlessly. I feel like I know them both intricately as people, and I am really invested in their story. I hope we see more soon!