Fools - Comments

What you diiid with this, OKAY. Still very sorry I confused you originally.

So because of the summary, I opted to read this whilst listening to FOOLS and now I can't stop humming it. Dammit. But on the bright side, it actually added to the story—the music itself, the lyrics, it just really added to it all. It'll just be stuck in my head all night now, nbd.

Anyway. HELLO.

I really, really loved this because of what you opted to do with the girls. I wouldn't have thought to put Athena and Asteria together the way you did (or at all honestly), then the way you wrote them was gorgeous. I feel like in the whole teenage AU thing, you still managed to keep qualities of both girls from classic mythology—Athena's chapters were written with this tone of maturity and intelligence, whereas Asteria's were written with this soft naivety of first love that got stronger and more wary towards the end.

I also really like the difference in perspectives, how Athena is talking about Asteria and Asteria is talking about the boy when they say 'you' in their chapters; though the lack of name for the Boy was such a good touch, too. It made it surprisingly personal and vulnerable, raw almost. Then without naming Boy (yep, I'm just gonna call him this), it felt like both girls, especially Asteria, were saying that in the grand scheme of things, he didn't even matter.

The. power. of. chapter. five. (pretend there's clapping emojis instead of periods thanks) This chapter was so poignant, and held so much power and weight. I have heard so many people in my life make those exact same comments, I've seen boys say that to their girlfriends before, and the fact that you addressed this so effortlessly and with poetry, I wanted to die. It was so good. Athena's anger was just so cogent and it made me want to punch someone. Even though I fear confrontation and actual physical fights. Never mind that.

“I’m sorry,” you tell me. “I’m sorry I let someone come between us.” YES. YES YES YES. Asteria, YES. Coming out of a toxic relationship before it hurt her and going back to her best friend. YEEESS. And I loved the last chapter so much; seeing the true depth of their friendship. I happened to like the sappy ending because YES, friendship stories are underrated and I love how it came back to them in the end. Asteria's apology and gratefulness for Athena just killed me. The love both of these girls had each other was just so nice and seriously. I seriously like that you wrote a strong friendship story. The world needs more of these.

Okay, really. Honestly. What you did with this story was fantastic and it was such an enjoyable read. Now I'm gonna go sing FOOLS somewhere else because I've seriously been humming it non-stop now. frick.

dude this is really really great so far! your characters are super interesting, and feel real. i also really enjoy the layout! it gives a dreamlike quality to the whole piece.

AHH ALEX.

The is so amazing so far, holy shit. I can't wait to read more

Because I'm feeling crapoy I'm trying to make others feel good. Does that make sense? Well it led me to read your story. I really like this beginning, not sure why or any specifics I just really liked it and it's a great start of the story!