Blossomed Contusions - Comments

Your descriptions are beautiful. I love how each of the three paragraphs gave such important information about the girl, but it was still vague, giving us only a piece of what has happened. And I think it adds to the fact that the girl is only giving away a little bit about herself without revealing the whole truth to those who ask.

Something else I like is how different the information is; first there is stuff about what she wears, which is an extension on her personality I think, then there is something tragic that she doesn't want to talk about, but then it ends with something happy that has happened to her. I think it is the perfect way to end it, after reading the second paragraph. I absolutely adored this and I really enjoyed reading it.

So I totally already said this in a previous comment but I adore your description. The contest itself is something I was interested in, and then you've got this entry which is pretty amazing. I think most people would have gone for something soft and... I don't know, girly? It seems like the wrong word, but they'd have gone for something a lot less negative with it. I love that you've chosen to base the whole thing around bruises, because it describes the colour in this way that absolutely nothing else can. It kind of has this downward spiral -- you start with the flowers, then the wrists and then the neck. The whole thing escalates itself to the final point, and it's wonderful how effortless each paragraph is when linking together to the next. The repetition is, I think, what helps that, because it gives this structure to the whole thing. It's almost like a poem, really -- you've got this solid structure and this really flowery piece of prose that just works so well together. Amazing.

The Mibba Comment Swap event brought me to this story... I really like the contest subject - it's different and I haven't seen a previous contest like this before. I like you hit the nail on the head quite perfectly with your details. Even the summary alone gives you a brief glimpse of something more. It isn't the easiest topic, but I think you have something solid going on here and I am anxious to see what happens with the story!

oh my god, the summary for this is amazing and it's only 14 words. beautiful.