A Gift - Comments

I'm here commenting as a judge for the Magazine contest!

Layout / Summary

I'm not normally a fan of white backgrounds on layouts, but this one works well with the rest of the colours. It's got this really airy and light feel to it, and I love that. The little quote as the summary works well, and the image used coupled with that makes me really curious as to how you're going to mix summer and pregnancy together!

Content

I'm not going to lie, I knew that the Romanian was Romanian (I have a Romanian friend) but it literally took me the longest moment to figure out that this was Sebastian Stan, haha! I'm actually really excited by the whole thing because it was just so sweet and I don't actually think I've read a fanfic with Sebastian as himself as opposed to being the Winter Soldier, so it was really unique and exciting to read that. The concept of a summer birth just makes me want to cry though -- imagine how awful it would be, ugh. Nonetheless, I thought this was an incredibly sweet piece, and I love that you chose to compliment the softness and excitement of summer with the arrival of a baby. It's just such a sweet addition!

I have to agree with the others below as well -- the Romanian was a lovely touch. I'm always really interested in seeing other languages in stories and I don't know why, but it does just add a lot to the story. It's like this beautiful interweaving of culture throughout the words, which is great to read.

Concrit

The only things I have to mention here have already been mentioned by Mr. Darcy below, so I'll not labour the point.

Overall

This was a really unique and different way of approaching the task, so well done! I loved reading this, and I found it incredibly sweet and uplifting. Lovely job!

Hey, here as a judge for the Mag contest!

This is really cute. I love that you decided to go down the route of a pregnancy, although a summer one during humid weather? That is definitely not ideal and I can only but imagine the discomfort Elise is in. You really put across how much the two care for each other, of how much they love one another, and I definitely could feel Sebastian's excitement about becoming a father through his thoughts and feelings you've conveyed. The add-ins of the Romanian was a lovely touch too!

I spotted a couple of things through the first chapter.

"his future wife in just moment’s time" - I assume you mean months' time?

“Come inside, comoară.” He murmured" - the 'he' doesn't need to be capitalised as it's a speech tag and the full stop should be replaced with a comma, so it should read, “Come inside, comoară," he murmured.

“Only for a few hours,” she glanced up at the man - whereas here, the comma should be exchanged with a full stop and the 'she' capitalised because that's not a speech tag, so “Only for a few hours." She glanced up at the man would be right.

Chuckling at the disappointment that washed over his face, “Baby doesn’t like it when momma lies down like that.” - you're missing a 'she said,' between the comma and the beginning of the tag.

I'd suggest just having a quick re-read of the piece to pick up any others that I didn't spot.

I'm super surprised that he didn't go in for the birth! For all his excitement I'd thought he would have been by her side throughout the birth, so I wonder whether he was too squeamish to do so. You don't specify so as I read the second chapter that's what I was thinking! Being excited for sleepless nights is definitely crazy but it further emphasises just how excited he is - it's almost as if he's waited all this life for this moment. A guy like that is definitely a keeper!

I really love how unbearably cute this was and thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

Sorry for taking so long with my comment!

I'm here as a judge for the Mibba Magazine contest

This was a really cute piece! I loved the interactions between Sebastian and Elise, I felt like I really got a feel for their characters individually and their relationship just by how they were talking to each other. The Romanian that you added was a nice touch as well, even though I didn't understand it (until the author's note when you defined the words), I still enjoyed seeing them throughout the chapter.

I really liked the bits of description you had throughout the chapters as well! It really helped set the scene for the story and I think it really helped get all of the emotion in the story across to the reader. I could tell how happy and nervous and excited Sebastian was, and I felt like I could feel the love between them from the way you described the couple.

Great job!

Ahhh! Sebastian with babies is my weakness

That was absolutely beautiful. I loved the description of Elise.