Survival. - Comments

  • Brittt

    Brittt (100)

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    I'm usually not a fan of zombie stories or world ending stories, but this certainly attracted my attention. I love what you have so far and I can't wait to see what happens next. The summary is what really caught my attention. Lovely job. tehe
    July 15th, 2016 at 12:16am
  • losing control.

    losing control. (4250)

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    I don't actually read a ton of zombie stories for whatever reason, but yours has caught my attention! I thought the summary was well done, I'm not normally one for long summaries but yours provided a lot of nice information that set up the story well.

    I liked how what you did with the first chapter. The repeating of the "everything was normal" line was a nice touch and contrasted well with the fact that clearly everything was far from normal XD You set up Luke and Jenna's relationship nicely with their interactions and the little fight they had. It really reinforced the whole "everything was normal" situation and I liked that.

    It's interesting that whatever cause the people to turn into zombies basically happened overnight and only happened to a few people. It makes me wonder exactly what is going on.

    This is an interesting story so far, I can't wait to see how Jenna and Luke fair in the rest of the chapters!
    July 6th, 2016 at 08:41am
  • Audrey T

    Audrey T (6730)

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    Loved the summary! It's becoming kind of rare to see long summaries that are more than quotes or excerpts (I'm definitely guilty of that), so I love that your summary actually told me about the story. It read like something I'd see on the back of a published book - well written, a little descriptive, and informative. PERFECTION!

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    I thought the first chapter was really nicely done. Sometimes those slice-of-life scenes can come off as boring or unnecessary, but you managed to keep this interesting. The interaction between Jenna and Luke was really cute - it made me wonder how their relationship would survive whatever catastrophe was coming. I especially liked that you mentioned their petty fight (it really does seem petty when it looks like the world is suddenly ending) because I think it provided a nice contrast to the much bigger problems arising.

    I thought it was interesting that whatever this pandemic was, it seemed to have happened over night. It was little surprising to see how serious it already was - but that added to thrill of it.

    (Also, I like that Luke was immediately like Okay. Time to get the fuck out of here! XD)

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    By the second chapter - specifically then when Jenna asks Do you think it's like this everywhere? - I started to think that maybe Jenna and Luke's evacuation was done a little hastily. Perhaps it would have been smarter for the two to collect a little more information before just taking off. It reminded me of that line in Romeo and Juliet when Juliet's like It's too rash; too ill-advised. XD Definitely they should have checked out some traffic reports, see how the rest of the town, city, state, world were doing before just running off. Definitely they should have made a gas stop first.

    I thought it was a really nice touch that you did include those roadblocks though - like them needing gas and the traffic and even the infected people they were seeing. I think it would have been a little boring (and probably unrealistic) if it were smooth-sailing to the cabin.

    I don't know why, but even though Luke seems to be in control right now (of the situation and his emotion), I think he's going to be the first to crack under the pressure. Right now it feels like Jenna is just an observer in the story (kind of detached narrator), but I feel like her part and importance in the story is building. I don't know what it is, but I get a feeling from her that makes me believe she'll end up being the hero of the story.

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    Overall, I love this so far. Subscribed. I don't read a lot (if any) zombie/end of world stories (I don't even really watch a lot of zombie/end of the world TV or movies), but this really has my attention.
    June 29th, 2016 at 10:22pm
  • cobra bubbles;

    cobra bubbles; (100)

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    I just want to say that I do adore a good zombie story! The first thing I do want to point out is that there are a few spelling errors as well as some mistakes scattered around each chapter. I absolutely loved the first chapter! It really showed a glimpse of the characters personality but I sort of feel as if that was only shown in the first chapter and not as much in the following two. Also, there are some parts that feel sort of rushed. Other than that, I actually love the confusion both characters show towards what is going on. The ending of the third chapter when Jenna says, "He was already dead." really made me think of all the movies when a character is just scared shitless and they're like :| I LOVED THAT.
    June 29th, 2016 at 05:41am
  • fangirl.

    fangirl. (100)

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    I like how it starts out normally and that there's no hint at the trouble to come. The fact that she's almost mad over sex and her boyfriend strip teases right before the news is broken is great, lol. I can tell that this is going to keep me on my toes, and I like what you have so far. Update soon (:
    June 29th, 2016 at 05:00am
  • Barbielovesyou

    Barbielovesyou (100)

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    This is a very interesting start, though I did notice some misspellings or missing words, which I filled in with my imagination. Other than that, it's a good start. When will be the next update?
    June 22nd, 2016 at 02:11am