Tremble - Comments

I actually really like the summary, I like that both of the sentences match and connect with each other - presenting it as some kind of bittersweet statement, or a double-edged sword. With the two sentences alone, it draws me into the story, I find myself intrigued to know how to can be both, or how it will be both. Your layout is lovely and simplistic, as well~

Chapter One

I loved how simple this was, yet there was so much emotion and realism thrown into it at the same time. I love that you didn't try to sugarcoat it, make it flowery or make it overly romantic, you wrote it the way it is: bittersweet. You really balanced out the emotions of upset and worry with the happiness and the romance that occurs towards the end of the piece well, the transition rather steady. I can just feel the emotion coming from this, can picture everything that is happening between them.

past memories that work themselves into monsters in her mind. - loved this line!

I think you really emphasised what you said in the summary, that nothing lasts forever. I loved the contrast between the second paragraph and the final one, the former being one associated with grief and worry, whilst the latter being associated with love and relief. The descriptions you used, particularly in these two paragraphs, paint such a vivid image in my mind. This - She glows in the light that the rising sun pours over the shades, the image of radiance; red hair catches the light, grey eyes wide and shining, the easiest of smiles on her lips. - was one that particularly caught my attention, since it just so beautiful. I can just see it.

but he lives happily knowingredients that - I believe you meant to put knowing, rather than knowingredients

Overall, this was an absolute wonderful piece to read.

Overall

I loved this. It all came together so wonderfully by the end, and the way you display a variety of emotions through your writing was just brilliant. The contrast between the start of the piece and the end of the piece was done perfectly, you used enough description to paint a vivid picture and like Lizz said below, it was simple. Simple, but you evoked emotion and imagery so well. Apart from the mistake pointed out about, I have no criticisms. Fantastic piece, and good luck~

You have a really lovely way with words and I always really love reading your stories.

I felt like I could relate to this, my boyfriend has terrible nightmares all the time and our nights are similar to this quite often. You described everything incredibly well and I liked how it all felt really...simple, I guess. You didn't make everything super flowery or overdescribe it, but the emotions and everything got across super well with the words you chose.

I loved this, great job!