It Is Here. - Comments

  • dawn of light

    dawn of light (100)

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    Member
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    26
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    United States
    I really liked the mystery in this. The way you kept the readers on their toes was nice. One thing I did notice was that some parts seemed a bit forced, where the flow of some scenes lost it’s course. However, like I said, the mystery behind the blood and the whole situation was nicely portrayed.

    I did enjoy the way Cameron and Anka talked to each other–it was light and somewhat cometic. The wittiness from Cameron, though I know he didn’t mean it, made me laugh. I liked the way you wrote Cameron’s tone because the audience really got a sense of who he is. I can tell Anka will get the best of her when she finds out the truth. Her character has a lot of room for growth and I can’t wait to read more about it.

    I hope the best from this story; I hope you continue. Great job!!
    December 22nd, 2016 at 01:51am