August 3rd, 2017 at 07:33pm
First of all your summary is insane. It's actually really provoking. I love the Avengers so I'm super excited to see how everything fits together.
Prologue
These descriptions are really good. I know there is some sort of proper term for it but the Tap. Tap. Tap. is perfect.
The back and forth between Libby and Hela is great. I just love how poised Hela is.
This has honestly got me excited for what's to come. I love Loki, and I have no idea what's happened between Libby and him, but you've got me intrigued.
Chapter 1
I'm with Laufey, who the hell is Devonora?!
Honestly I sort of lose interest with this chapter. I've seen the movie multiple times so reading it is kind of boring, but the fact you've introduced this new character in the mix kind of forces me to just in case I miss something.
Okay holy crap. “It is a good thing you can heal, little one,” This sentence alone makes me take back what I just said.
Oh man, I feel like you just alluded to Devonora being pregnant, and although we just met her I feel bad for her. Oh man, she was. That's tough, you've done a good job of conveying it without really using much words to do so.
So yeah, this is interesting take. As much as I do love Loki and the Avengers, and to an extent the X-Men, I can't say I'm all that interested in reading anymore. I'm not sure what it is, maybe it's the fact I don't really care all that much for fanfics, or maybe it's just because there's already so much and it's overwhelming.
No matter what though your writing is good. I hope you continue this. Maybe one day I'll come back to it.
I think what's really enjoyable about this is how you're interweaving the MCU with your own parts of stories -- the Asgardians vs the Jotuns and the suchlike -- and it doesn't interfere with the overall story itself. You're doing a really good job of interweaving those parts, as well as pulling from other areas of the universe -- I loved the addition of Voltage in the further chapters! The only criticism I have is that (at the moment) there are a lot of back-and-forth chapters in different areas with different streams of plot that make little sense just now. I assume those will make more sense later on when things start to pull together, but it does jump a lot just now and it did give me a struggle to read on as I ended up confusing myself. I feel like perhaps I'd be more into this if I were more into the Marvel series as a whole -- I've not kept up with it properly for years now and some parts of your story confuse me a little. I'm assuming the parts I don't understand have more to do with the movies / comics than I know. Nonetheless, this is a good story! You've written it well and were I more up to date on Marvel, I'd definitely be keeping up with this. Good job!