Graceful - Comments

@ fairy boy.
Can I just start with, I fucking LOVE you. Not only is this a great comment and it actually TELLS me something, it's the absolute BEST comment I have EVER had from someone that isn't my best friend who has to deal with every little idea and plot I have. You have graced (no pun intended) me with the best comment of my writing career (which isn't that much, but hush now)

I promise you, that every bit of everything you felt, I felt also. My heart broke with Grace. I was LIVID with Lindsay. I loved Gavin's lighthearted side and put it there to help me, because I knew what the end result would be from the moment I started.

I always have to put a witty line and using Michael was probably more in my favor for it. So that "AA meeting" comment he had was something I adored so much.

I honestly didn't pin Jeremy from the beginning. I only edited ONE part of the story before finishing it. Everything was first and final. I changed the line where Jack said Gus had something to do with it or Lindsay. It was originally Kerry and Lindsay. But I couldn't figure out how to tie in the heartless murder of Michael with the actions of the Team or Burnie and Matt to Kerry. Since Geoff is the leader of Fake AH, I figured of all the people at RT, the most logical person to want to murder the team would be Gus, if something happened between the two.

That is basically how, after seeing what I did with Jeremy and the passenger of the Armored truck, I decided that Jeremy was playing for another team. That he was more sinister than we expected. My best friend figured Lindsay would have another go at the team, but I hate predictability.

I wanted to save Michael, I did. But my writer brain said "But Steph, if you save him, then how boring will that be. It's so ugh. Why would you want to make your readers LIKE you. Lets make them HATE you for killing off the amazing, gorgeous, Teddy Bear that is Michael." My brain and heart are at war most of the time.

I felt like, through the story, there was Grace in the beginning, a comment that pointed in her direction, and then nothing. To bring a man to a point where he is probably dying, he's unsure...I feel like, if I were there, I would instantly go "Jesus, Ima die and I never got to tell so and so that I wanted to make babies with them and be happy. I WANT TO SEE THEM" So here Michael is, dying, he loved Grace and he left Lindsay for her. Why would he think of anything else.

And then of course, as you heard how my brain works, I have to basically stab you with all the pain in the end. Fun Fact: I cried writing it because I am a wuss and hate myself when I do things like this haha. I like to say I mindlessly write. But I don't. I write what comes up first. I trust my first instinct. And apparently it's murder and ripping hearts out. Which sounds like me and my love of gore and horror. Maybe I am secretly a writing serial killer....oops.

Anyway, now that I am done rambling on and on and such.

I must say, I went to check you out and NOW Ima go comment on something of yours that needs a comment asap.

xxBambi

oh my GOD this was amazing.

i was already thrown into pain at the beginning because it's such a difficult situation for michael and grace; there are things he just can't tell her and she can't just sit there and take what he's saying at face value anymore because after so long, it just seems like he can't be doing anything but lying and it's just. AGH. i had to cover my eyes and just sigh for a moment when she left because GRACE COME BACK. my heart was already broken three paragraphs in, man, what the hell.

gavin's so excited to get a move on, aw. it's such a nice contrast between michael's quiet upset - or everyone's, really - and gavin's excitement and giddiness (he's making giddy noises in the middle of everyone's silence cherish him).

“Hey, Jeremy. As you heard. Glad to be here.” He pulled a chair and sat down, his arms across his chest.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “It’s not an AA meeting or something. Ryan, can we please move on, some of us have things we need to get to.”

i felt from the beginning that adding a new member was just going to cause trouble. HMMM. but before we get to the ultimate bullshittery, i want to comment on lindsay and her wild ass. she's sabotaging them, dropping nasty comments about the death of someone close to michael (though she doesn't seem like she gives two shits about him) and what looks like her, as well, and verbally expressing her wishes that michael had died instead.

what the hell.

how has no one thrown her off of a building yet or something, i cannot handle whatever in the world she thinks she's doing. she's so upsetting and i felt myself getting so angry as i read through her dialogue. i couldn't help but wish for something bad to happen to her before the end because, man, if anyone deserved it, y'know.

JEREMY WHAT THE SHIT. i felt he was bad news at the beginning but to realize that he just murdered a man with nothing but his fists...no thank you...

AND THEN HE FLIPPED SHIT. i felt it deep in my soul and i still managed to get that sinking feeling when he attacked and agggggh i wanted so bad for michael to somehow turn everything in his favor with a snap of his fingers but no i just got more pain and suffering.

ALL HE CAN THINK ABOUT IS GRACE LORD TAKE ME NOW MY TIME ON THIS EARTH IS DONE GOODBYE.

the final words that they shared between each other pulled my heart right out of my chest. I think what really got me was the, "Baby, they're so close," line because she's hanging on so tight and it isn't enough and then the end just comes and smacks me in the face.

this was amazing, i absolutely loved it! i was all over the place reading it and it was a lot of fun to lose it a little like that. great job!