Your description is very gory and quite scary. It puts a really frightening image in my head and I think you've worded it incredibly well.
We are eaten by the dark-dwelling monsters of the Earth, the tiny hungry worms and the tinier, hungrier ghosts of worms.
That really puts the image of a rotting corpse with ugly bugs eating it in my mind. The description of that sentence stood out to me. It's just very morbid, but you've worded it beautifully.
“We become stars,” I say, “and when a star goes out, it becomes an angel. And angels are forever.”
I believe you need a comma there. But other than that, this sentence was amazing. "Angels are forever." That's just absolutely beautiful.
Because I do.
That's the perfect ending. I can't even explain why, it just fits perfectly.
Good job with this. The descriptions were fantastic and the images you've put in my head are scaring me a little bit.:cute:
We are eaten by the dark-dwelling monsters of the Earth, the tiny hungry worms and the tinier, hungrier ghosts of worms.
That really puts the image of a rotting corpse with ugly bugs eating it in my mind. The description of that sentence stood out to me. It's just very morbid, but you've worded it beautifully.
“We become stars,” I say, “and when a star goes out, it becomes an angel. And angels are forever.”
I believe you need a comma there. But other than that, this sentence was amazing. "Angels are forever." That's just absolutely beautiful.
Because I do.
That's the perfect ending. I can't even explain why, it just fits perfectly.
Good job with this. The descriptions were fantastic and the images you've put in my head are scaring me a little bit.:cute: