Haunting Grey - Comments

  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

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    Thank you for this story! I loved it! I'm glad Travis didn't stay with her, because if he had the woods would truly have taken everything. And Natalie found some sense of peace in the end... This has been one of my favorites since it was first recommended to me, and I'm sad that it's over, but it was great.
    February 24th, 2018 at 08:40pm
  • jamila1990

    jamila1990 (100)

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    so he's going to agree to go with her :(
    January 27th, 2018 at 01:22am
  • Brittt

    Brittt (100)

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    ahhh cliffhanger!!! i want to know what happens to him next
    March 22nd, 2017 at 04:14pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

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    I'm still keeping up with this, waiting on updates and just as intrigued as I was when you first recommended it to me. Mr. Green I have my theories, but I'll just sit back and read the drama unfolding and find the answers that way.
    March 21st, 2017 at 06:19am
  • jamila1990

    jamila1990 (100)

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    4 months of waiting and only one chapter :(
    hope you update soon
    March 18th, 2017 at 10:16pm
  • RoCk_PrInCeSs_PR

    RoCk_PrInCeSs_PR (135)

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    Comment as Promised!

    I love the concept of the story. It’s so sad yet so excited at the same time. I could feel his emotion of losing her best friend. Not really knowing what happened to Nat gives a sense of suspense that drew me more in.

    At the end of chapter five, I seriously felt the hairs on my arms go up, because, Nat is dead, and she suddenly appeared to her best friend! Good job at scaring me there. Tension is build more at the end of each chapter, which makes it very interesting.

    Loved the twist you created in Chapter Fifteen, making Travis be in a coma, and running out of time. Everything he was able to create in his own mind fit perfectly to the mystery of the plot.

    In each word, the story leaves me wondering what is really happening and who killed Natalie. For some reason, I think Travis is still in a coma and he didn’t wake up.

    Overall, this is a great piece. There are little to no grammar and spelling mistakes and the layout you chose for it is absolutely perfect and well fitting. Great story!
    November 8th, 2016 at 11:56pm
  • jamila1990

    jamila1990 (100)

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    For some reason, I'm thinking he's dead and she's alive, or he's in a coma. I guess I should read to find out
    October 25th, 2016 at 06:26pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

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    I really like this. I was hooked immediately because it's horror/suspense, and that's just my favorite kind of story. The fact that it has become increasingly well-written, and that the story is unfolding rapidly without giving anything away, makes me want to finish this. I'm so curious as to what happened to Natalie.

    If I had to pick a favorite part, it would be when he actually saw her as she was -- dead, with her face smashed in. But I also loved when she put her hand in his and he could actually feel her. She's so real to him, even though he knows she's dead. I really love that.

    I will be subscribing and recommending this, of course. Seriously, I'm super glad you sent this to me in my goody bowl. Mr. Green
    October 23rd, 2016 at 08:42pm
  • hangsang.

    hangsang. (210)

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    I did call the narrator/Grey/Travis a girl a first because you didn't exactly make it clear, and some of the mannerisms made me think otherwise for some reason, so there's that until chapter nine or ten. Sorry about that.

    Summary
    I really enjoy how to-the-point your summary is. It drew me in, and obviously didn't give too much away. I really appreciated that.

    One
    I love the suspense you built with this chapter! I'm wondering what happened to Natalie. Is she dead? Still alive? You don't use a lot of description and flowery language, but I really enjoy that about this piece. You leave the reader satisfied, but also wanting more, if that makes sense.

    Two
    I'm not sure how I feel about the sudden jumps between past and present, but this is the first chapter with it, so I'll probably get used to it.

    Three
    I don't see how it's her fault. Like, if Natalie had been much younger than her, I can understand, but if they were both around the same age, then there's absolutely no need to pin the blame on your own daughter. Ugh.

    Four
    The thing that surprises me: if everyone suspects her, you'd like she would've been questioned. I mean, she was the last one that saw Natalie alive, so you'd think the cops would be hitting her really hard with questions. Unless that happened and nothing was said about it.

    Five
    WOAH. What's happening??? I'm wondering if she's really back or if it's just her mind playing a really cruel trick on her.

    Six
    So, now I'm thinking that she saw her ghost. Maybe Natalie will help her track down the killer? Or help her figure out what happened.

    Seven
    I love how you had Natalie react after she touched her face. It's like she doesn't know what happened to her, and maybe she doesn't. I'm wondering how Grey is going to break the news to her, or if she'll figure it out on her own.

    Eight
    Hooooooly crap! If I were Grey, I'd be so confused, like no, nope. I'm wondering if his dad will believe her if she comes forward about her seeing and talking to Natalie.

    Nine
    Hmmm, I'm really wondering what Natalie is hiding from Grey. I'm also curious to see how her father moves past everything that happened- basically, him hearing Natalie's voice and everything.

    Ten
    OH, GREY IS A BOY. My bad. I'm not sure why I thought otherwise??? Ahhh, there are the police, though. You'd think they would've already asked him these questions, and I'm really surprised they hadn't. I do like how Travis' father stood up for him and everything, that was a nice touch, especially after everything that he said in the beginning.
    This is pretty good so far. Your writing and the short chapters kept me hooked, and I didn't see any mistakes. Nice job!
    October 19th, 2016 at 10:21pm
  • MousyCh

    MousyCh (100)

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    I have to say first that the writing improved from the first chapter to the latest. It was a bit weird having so few details but as I read on it became interesting. The short chapters seemed to make it more alert and I felt that too, the urgency in finding your friend alive and finding answers.

    I like it overall and I am curious what will happen next. How will Natalien interfere in Grey's life and what she will do when she will realize she's dead.
    October 13th, 2016 at 12:48pm
  • Brittt

    Brittt (100)

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    I'm curious to what happened to Nat. Good job with this so far. I cant wait for more!!
    October 4th, 2016 at 06:22pm