The Vanishing Hitchhiker - Comments

  • AJ9

    AJ9 (100)

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    I enjoyed this story. A very good take on the urban legend. Take on board the advice about the spelling and grammatical errors and you'll get even better. Good luck xxx
    October 27th, 2016 at 04:35pm
  • RoCk_PrInCeSs_PR

    RoCk_PrInCeSs_PR (135)

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    Judging for Writing Contest

    The beginning was very intriguing, and it caught my attention immediately. It drew me more in into the story. I liked the idea of Zacky being the mysterious hitchhiker, and when Brian and the guys were passing through the same road one year later, Brian's description of not wanting to even see this guy again was a little funny at first. I could imagine his face getting all pale and him getting all nervous. I enjoyed it. The words connected very well to the plot-line. There were some spelling errors and some missing punctuation that with time can be edited and fixed, but they didn't distract me from reading.

    The ones that are very visible were
    Quote
    All he knew was Brian had been a car accident.
    I am pretty sure the preposition in is missing.
    All he knew was Brian had been in a car accident.
    Quote
    He couldn’t wait to get home and slept.
    Slept is the past tense of sleep. The word is not connecting very well to the beginning of your sentence. I think it sounds better like this:
    He couldn’t wait to get home and sleep.

    Overall, this is a good piece. Thank you so much for entering in my contest and good luck!
    October 27th, 2016 at 02:42am