Spill - Comments

  • erin hallisey;

    erin hallisey; (100)

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    23
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    United States
    Just looking at your layout, I find it really pretty. It is very easy on the eyes, which I find important when I am reading a story.

    I like how you end the first chapter, with her uncle basically falling all over her. Along with the girl he's not with, staying silent the entire time, but she says the final words of the chapter, leaving it in a cliffhanger.

    When I heard the word "claim" I figured it would be the stereotypical thing - someone coming out as a wolf. I love the fact that you use it as a fight. I love how it's the brother fighting his sisters lover, it sows that he really cares about her. I don't understand why she would want her lover to win. It must be a one-sided love between her and her brother. How could she walk past her brother? She really must hate him. Oooh? Do we have a creepy guy? Interesting.

    Overall I love this story, and the chapters are relatively short so I don't get tired out from sitting with my laptop in my lap.
    January 15th, 2017 at 01:16am
  • lady.bex

    lady.bex (250)

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    NaNoWriMo 2016
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    34
    Location:
    Netherlands
    This is amazingly well written. I am in awe of the writing style and the natural flow the story has. There is a perfect balance between short and chopped sentences and than the flowing lengthy ones!
    January 14th, 2017 at 03:10pm
  • Drop_DeadM

    Drop_DeadM (100)

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    Member
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    28
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    Great Britain (UK)
    I'm really interested in this and where it's going, can't wait for another update!
    Great job!
    January 8th, 2017 at 09:55pm
  • AkiraRose

    AkiraRose (100)

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    31
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    United States
    I love it! the imagery is amazing. The way you described the woods in the first chapter, I could clearly picture them; in the second chapter, the fight scene was incredibly described, so detailed, it was like I was watching a movie. Definitely keep it up.
    January 8th, 2017 at 12:54am
  • AkiraRose

    AkiraRose (100)

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    Member
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    31
    Location:
    United States
    I love it! the imagery is amazing. The way you described the woods in the first chapter, I could clearly picture them; in the second chapter, the fight scene was incredibly described, so detailed, it was like I was watching a movie. Definitely keep it up.
    January 8th, 2017 at 12:54am
  • AkiraRose

    AkiraRose (100)

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    Member
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    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    I love it! the imagery is amazing. The way you described the woods in the first chapter, I could clearly picture them; in the second chapter, the fight scene was incredibly described, so detailed, it was like I was watching a movie. Definitely keep it up.
    January 8th, 2017 at 12:54am
  • Teddi Manni

    Teddi Manni (100)

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    Member
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    28
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    United States
    Your writing is so beautiful and doesn't fail to make a clear, pretty image in my head.

    And I adore the name Hadley!!

    Keep up that awesome work :) I do hope you update with more!
    January 6th, 2017 at 11:01pm