Sea Fair - Comments

  • AkiraRose

    AkiraRose (100)

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    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    The imagery is what caught my eye the most; the way you describe everything that's going on around Tora-the ocean view, the crying of the seagulls, how the coffee shop has the warm and cozy atmosphere, and smells like coffee beans, how the chandeliers in the apartment dripped from the ceiling, instead of just merely hanging there. I like Tora's character too; how observant she is, and how she seems ready to be i the new place that she is in.
    You did an awesome job, and i hope to read more of it.
    January 23rd, 2017 at 09:59pm
  • WingDing Gaster

    WingDing Gaster (100)

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    26
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    Canada
    What a rich atmosphere you have going on here! It's stunning, to say the least. The first chapter- I'm assuming there's more- is filled to the brim with vivid descriptions, almost to the point where it distracts from the story itself, but not quite. The protagonist is clearly very observant, and seems to be soaking up every bit of light and detail. She's like me, in a sense. I tend to do that often. But this setting, by the gods, it's so bright! I can't think of a better way to put it, and your layout really adds to that. It's the kind of setting that one couldn't expect anything to go wrong in, the kind of setting where everything is good and people sip iced drinks lounging on beach chairs. I would love to read more of this. High fives to you!
    January 12th, 2017 at 04:08pm