Pink Hair, Dead Eyes - Comments

  • nearly witches.

    nearly witches. (15250)

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    Here judging the entries for the Four Songs, One Object contest! Cute

    Layout / Summary
    I love how the title has this link to the colours of the layout. Layout is easy to read and simple. I like the summary. It gives us this image of Iris, but then tears it down a few seconds later. It definitely hooks me into the story itself.

    Content
    I think the first thing that struck me about this was the contrast between what seems like two sides of Iris. You've got this everyday girl, with routines and regimens that she sticks to -- not unlike every other person in the world. You've then got Randi Rose, this entirely different persona who dances for a living. It's such a contrast that it makes me curious to learn more, even from the end of the first chapter. I feel like every person has a home and work persona and this is the first time I've seen that addressed in a story, so I'm definitely curious to read on.

    I think the most interesting part of this is the final chapter, and how she warms to Tommy. It shows that even through mediums that some people may not find have connotations of love, those feelings can materialise and it's so lovely to see that. Often, it's a case of people shaming others for dancing, and it's so nice that there's someone like Tommy, who's got that genuine curiosity in Iris as a person but doesn't push it, and the way that Iris reacts to that by opening up just a little bit. It's almost like a subtle romance, and I love that. I'm not a huge fan of mushy stuff, and this just seems all the more... realistic? I don't know how to explain what I'm thinking, but I feel like this is very different to the typical things we see on Mibba on a daily basis and I really like that.

    Concrit
    None that I could see.

    Overall
    I really like this. It's gritty, realistic and just altogether wonderfully written. You did a fantastic job with the songs and the object and creating something really thought-provoking here. Nice job.
    March 29th, 2017 at 04:37pm
  • mallrat

    mallrat (100)

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    This is rly good ! and i'm super crazy abt your writing style ! omg.
    March 18th, 2017 at 08:01pm