Homecoming - Comments

I really like this story. It has a good flow to it and it's not moving too fast. I love the main character already she seems real easy going and I think I would enjoy being her friend. I'm intrigued by the fact she's looking for her real dad. It adds an air of mystery and really pulls you in. I think you did a very good job on this story, I really enjoy it.

Summary

I'm absolutely loving your summary. It dragged me right in and made me want to read more. I already need this story in my life.

Prologue

I did enjoy the opening paragraph, but it didn't bring me in as much as your summary. It didn't scream 'hey, man, look at me!'. For some, it can potentially make them click away from a story.

That aside, I haven't read any stories where the main character is a dancer (NC-17 stories aside, of course), so this was a nice surprise.

Ahh, the phone call killed me. I feel so sorry for Natalie's mother, and Natalie, of course. I enjoyed the way you had her mother sobbing on the other end, but also able to get the words out. As someone that has received a call like that, I can say that that is how it went for me.

I love how you added in the fact that Natalie used to resent Brent, especially when he tried punishing her, but it had faded. It's another thing I don't see much in fic. Good relationships with step parents do exist and I'm glad you touched on it.

I felt how much Natalie didn't want to go back, but knowing she had to. You definitely unlocked her emotion and shoved it at the reader, which I really, really enjoyed.

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Honestly, I can't wait for more of this. Just from the summary I knew I was going to enjoy this. I'll definitely be subscribing. Well done!