The Trajectory of Planes - Comments

  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    I missed the update because I've been AWOL lately, but I'm caught up now!

    First, let me say I agree with Wren's reaction to the impending pregnancy. Bringing a child into such an uncertain world is not a good idea. But...in regard to most everyone else, I feel like Wren isn't doing a great job understanding what it's like for them to see her again. I think consciously she knows what a mind fuck it is, but emotionally, she has changed too much and they are no longer what's most important to her. That life is no longer what drives her. I hate that for her brother, in particular. It's like he found the piece that should complete him, but it no longer fits right, like it has outgrown him.

    I hope you can update again soon!
    March 6th, 2019 at 10:41pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    Well of course they aren't going to listen. They are so set in their beliefs, and sure that they know and understand the motives and goals of the other peoples, that Wren's truths are irrelevant. I hate that Triventri isn't really listening to her (at least, not yet). As her friend, he should listen. I know it shakes his entire world, but why would Wren lie? And how else do you explain her survival? She is living proof that the Riggian are not like the Lusbei.

    I am soooo glad you updated!!!!
    December 7th, 2018 at 08:54pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    Well, I didn't expect everyone to totally forget the fact that she has been presumed dead for a long time, but I thought the reception would be a little warmer, even under the umbrella of pain and disbelief. My heart broke at the revelation that her mother and little brother are dead. Now I worry about what's going to happen to her. They'll have to question her, try for explanations, but then what???
    August 2nd, 2018 at 07:03am
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    The discovery of the ploy by the Lusbei understandably sent her into a panic. I'm glad to see she still values her family over magic, but that would be a hard decision to make. I just hope they aren't already dead when she and Cartham get back.
    July 30th, 2018 at 03:47am
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    WOAH, this was not what I was expecting! IDK if you have ever played this game but for some reason it kinda reminded me of ABZU, the way you painted this hidden place under the water. And that tavern place reminded me of Harry Potter magic!

    I honestly love this story more and more with every update!
    May 4th, 2018 at 03:15pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    I like how they're getting to know things about each other, finding out that despite their differences they have a fair amount in common. I'm glad she learned about Lucille; it's always good to have closure. And what in the world is Cartham doing?!

    Update as soon as you can, but no rush. I understand all too well what it's like for life to take over and keep you from being able to write. I'll be over here, waiting patiently. Arms
    May 3rd, 2018 at 07:06pm
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    LOVED THE UPDATE!! And I have been frequenting the blog section here so I know bits of what you've been going through.

    Don't be sorry; your health and well-being comes first. You have been through some tough things (to say the least). Besides, you can't rush a masterpiece. You can't force genius.

    And this chapter... We finally got to know what happened to Lucille! and even on this planet it's a small world! And I am so curious as to what Cartham is up to... like where are you taking Wren?!?!

    Lovely update, please take care of yourself!
    May 2nd, 2018 at 03:30am
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    I'm so glad he listens to her, and he understands her argument to an extent. He's condemning her to the same restrictions he faces if he sends her back. Her life will be different than his, of course, but it's a form of captivity all the same. I'm intrigued with the end, and I can't wait to see what he shows her.
    February 19th, 2018 at 10:09pm
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    So I finally got around to sitting down and reading this update... You almost had me there! I was like NO DON'T DARE CARTHAM. But I also get why he and his people wanted to get rid of her... still not fond of the Lusbei so I get it.
    But they also need Wren. They went through all that trouble just to get her, and the fact that they could throw her out like trash isn't right. And she still has to save the prince!
    Good for Wren to stand up say NO! Am I rambling??? Guh, another great update!
    January 24th, 2018 at 03:54am
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    I knew he wouldn't just leave her there!!!!!!!!!

    So, I actually get where Wren is coming from. There was so much they were looking for, and they didn't exactly find it. Yes, Keoni is different, but they are (technically speaking) outcasts there. Wren and her family didn't discover some kind of magical place; they landed somewhere they will forever be considered lesser. And while it's not that different with Cartham's people, at least she now knows there is more. She has seen honest to goodness magic and now she's supposed to pretend none of it happened? I mean...how can she pretend she never met Cartham, if nothing else?

    I almost squealed with glee when I saw you'd updated! Hope all is well!
    January 20th, 2018 at 08:53am
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Oh god, the Lusbei, man. I was never fond of them but they are just getting more and more nightmarish with every appearance. I was genuinely afraid for Wren and almost thought she was not going to pull through.

    And I can actually understand where Raxa is coming from and his anger. I am glad he actually saved her and healed Wren but I can understand why he was reluctant. I can't help but feel worried though for Cartham. idk...just a bad buzz i guess.
    November 16th, 2017 at 09:48pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    I had an ominous feeling as soon as I started this chapter. I just knew something terrible would happen, but I wasn't expecting a Lusbei, nor was I expecting Wren to get quite so hurt. Honestly, at first, I thought she was just having a flashback/panic attack thing without any real cause...then I realized Reyt had actually been murdered.

    Cartham is growing on me. I'd love to say it's simply because he saved her, or had Raxa do so, but I think it's more than that. He's dealing with some heavy stuff, and he's carrying the burden pretty admirably at the moment. I understood Raxa's protests, but I think Cartham was right on this one. When I read the line about him feeling useless because of his inability to "control his people, to save his people, to save one human woman," I swear I could literally feel the weight of the world on his shoulders.

    I was so excited when I saw you'd updated! Crazy This is my favorite story I'm currently reading here!
    November 16th, 2017 at 09:16am
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    Is it weird that I kinda teared up when Wren had to stitch Ayol's wound? I think it was the idea if Ayol not understanding entirely what it was Wren would do, and why Raxa could no longer heal her wounds while they sparred. For someone so tough and self-confident to be wrong-footed like that...it just touched me, I guess.

    I love Lillias. That's the human in me, ha! I appreciate his kindness and the fact that he bothers to notice what's going on around Wren. I am infinitely sympathetic to Wren, trapped between her potential fate and having to go against her beliefs. I'm proud of her for being strong, for holding firm to her values in the face of almost certain death. I don't see how she can possibly save Conrose, she herself has said she can't, but I am hoping for a miracle of some sort.

    Also, I know Cartham seems cruel, but I think he has the right idea about training his warriors. The other peoples, Lusbei in particular, are so reliant on magic. They won't have a clue what to do without it, and so when they face Cartham's warriors, who are preparing to fight with little or no magic, they're going to be helpless. There are things about Cartham I don't like, but he seems to truly have his people's best interest at heart.

    Please, don't ever stop writing! This is such a wonderful story. I cannot praise it enough.
    October 31st, 2017 at 06:35pm
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    I apologize for not commenting in a while--- I just finally got the chance to sit down and catch up on my reading! But back to my comment on this amazing story:

    To answer your question, I think you are doing an amazing job. I understand (I think) the different ahacaxa, and the Wolfram's wolves, and why they kidnapped Wren. You have many details in here but you do a very good job explaining and describing every bit. Now that I caught up, I see fully the connection between this story and The Desperation of Dying by your friend. All of this is very intriguing...

    I wonder wondering how the people of the Keoni village is taking Wren's disappearance. I know her brother was made to believe that she died but do they all believe that she really is dead? Despite the fact that Riggian came in and kidnapped Wren in such a reckless way, I hope she can save Conrose. More for her own sake.

    Overall I think you are doing an amazing job! Keep up the good work!
    October 23rd, 2017 at 06:14am
  • electrovoid

    electrovoid (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    Whoa. This is by far one of the most unique and interesting stories I've read on Mibba. I've read up through "Death Came," and I definitely plan to come back and read the rest. I'm also recc'ing, of course. (Also, upfront--I'm sorry it took me awhile to read and comment. Life is busy and it will always upend a schedule.)

    Anyway, I was intrigued from the summary, and I was not disappointed. First, I admire your ability to create a dense world with its own languages and history and culture. That's not an easy task, and it's definitely not easy to start a story and keep the plot focused while also allowing for the reader to understand enough about the world. I felt very anchored the whole time I was reading, even though I know very little. You release details in the perfect time, and I appreciate that.

    The depth of your characters is also strong. Wren is stubborn and compassionate but very logical and also very human. I like how you don't deliver all of her past in one go--like with Abel; it was implied they had some sort of history, but you didn't reveal it explicitly until much later, and I liked that. There's a lot of characters, but several chapters in, they were fairly easy to keep track of, which is a huge mark of good writing.

    Also, even though there are a lot of characters, it's easy to connect and feel with them. It was hard to read about Kyrilly dying. The emotion was so incredibly palpable. I also liked that you had a time jump from Wren being in a fog resulting from her death to kind of being back on her feet after that. Also, it's so interesting to me how the humans relate to the Keoni people. There's a sense of community as they have to work with each other, but there's also this tense uneasiness. That's why I enjoy Wren's interactions with Triventri because it muddles and crosses those lines. I'm interested to see if that develops (though, peeking at the next chapter, it looks like Wren is off and away to a new and dangerous place with an eerie group of people. So. I'm excited).

    Everything about this is good. More than "good enough," like the question you posed in one of the author's notes. You've got a lot of talent as a writer, as someone with her own style. And you've got a lot of talent as a creator, as someone who can build this unique world and work within it to create this story. I look forward to coming back and continuing to read and see what happens.
    October 4th, 2017 at 06:03pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    35
    Location:
    United States
    I've been hooked to this story for about a week now. Whenever I've had the chance, I've pulled out my phone and read. And now I'm all caught up. I love this story so much!!!! It's rare for me to stumble across a world so fully created in an original fiction on here (though I have read some sublime works here and do not mean that as a slight). But seriously, your writing is wonderful, and I can see everything in my mind's eye. The characters are so well-developed, even those who seem to be minor are given a fairly three a dimensional description. This work is fiction, yet wonderfully real.

    I will be waiting for the next update! Thank you for sharing this world with us!
    September 18th, 2017 at 08:39am
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    This is definitely some of the more unique works I have had the privilege of reading on Mibba--- In a great way! I love it when writers pull us into their own world of writing, and you literally took that to a whole new level!

    I am so intrigued by the different cultures and people, the languages and relationships you have formed in your world. Wren so far from what I read seems very independent and a character that does her own thing, and the Keoni people. The Lusbei women and child had me anxious; I love the tension and hostility you were able to portray between Wren and the three, and also how different humans are to the Lusbei.
    Your details and descriptions are so vivid and I couldn't help but to read more than the first chapter like I said I would in my last comment.

    So far so good! You have my rec and subscription!
    September 7th, 2017 at 05:58pm
  • Shatterheart

    Shatterheart (140)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Hi!! I'm here because of I received numbers of recommendations to check out this story; I know you also commented on my blog but I thought you should know, people are really loving what you are writing here! So I just had to come here and read fr myself. Very Happy

    First off, I love your layout. I really love simply beautiful layout, and this is nice and clean and I can read the text. The summary page totally sucks me in, and I immediately want to know more!

    I will comment again once I read the first chapter! Crazy
    September 7th, 2017 at 04:44pm
  • Godmother

    Godmother (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    God, I love your writing so much! The amount of detail you put in is just perfection. You use such elaborate words that bring your story to life. I can tell that everything is carefully plotted, like every word is put in this story for a reason. Not once do you ramble (I do in like all of my stories). I thought they had already reached their destination, I'm surprised that they haven't considering how friendly the villagers seemed to be towards Wolfram. I bet Wren is exhausted! These captors are much taller and stronger than her so of course, the journey isn't as hard on them as it is on her. I feel like she is growing to like Lillias, she might not want to but I feel like, he's the only one who's shown her enough kindness to sort of redeem himself, even just a little. I can't wait for the next update, this is just such a beautiful story!
    August 13th, 2017 at 05:15am
  • Godmother

    Godmother (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    Complex
    I really like how you started this off with Wren playing a game with the other Keoni kids. It feels so natural, and it's great to see a character doing everyday things even when she knows about the dangers of the Lusbei. Her moment with Treventri in the woods is kind of sweet. It's nice that she knows him well enough to speak so freely towards him. I feel like with the mention of Lucille, she's a key character and might come back. You never know, you didn't say that they found a body, only that they assumed she was dead.

    Hunted
    The reoccurring reminder that humans are always going to be considered outsiders only just adds to the story. The stark contrast between describing a human boy and a keoni boy is great. As she to the trees and throws up ofir in her wake, the grass gives way to mud that tells her location this sentence just seems to be missing a word. I don't know. This chapter gets intense quickly, the description of the town center massacre is amazing and so fast paced! I just love everything in this chapter, you spare no detail and it's amazing. The chase into the forest has me literally on the edge of my seat, reading as fast as I can! And when Wren falls, I literally just gasped! Thank god for Treventri! That scene is definitely intense! This chapter was just so full of intense emotion and scenes. You are so good at this I'm getting chills! Wren's character really shines at the end of this chapter when she decides to go help the others. Such a brave character.

    Red
    This chapter is so sad. I feel my intensity quickly escape me as I read about Wren trying to clean up Kyrilly. Her emotions are so raw and real and it just brings everything that happened in the previous chapter into light. They've lost people and it's so sad. Wren's breakdown is so brutal, I can understand how this was a hard chapter to write. Like I said, it's just so real. If she falls any further, he’s uncertain she’ll be able to climb back up again. I feel like this sentence was just so perfect in describing her pain and how powerful it was.

    Yellowed
    This chapter is a little slower but I can tell it's totally necessary for it to be this way. I like that you were able to describe where the Keoni live, again, the difference between them and humans is easily noted. Wren acting out in this way, by staying with Treventri and being unable to return to work is so understandable, her anger towards her parents should be expected after what happened. I seriously love how real this all seems, like it doesn't feel like a fictional story because your characters are so real and believable!

    Death Came
    This chapter really shows that no matter what trauma might happen, life will eventually go on. Things go back to normal and futures are all anyone can look forward to. Oh my GOD! The threats to Wren's life are just far too many on this strange world. The suspense in this chapter is amazing.

    Schism
    One thing I will question is why are their wolves on Keoni's planet? Like wouldn't they have different creatures? Other than that, this chapter is of course, absolutely amazing. I'm so curious about this strange new character who somehow knows English. I don't know if maybe I read too fast and skipped a paragraph where maybe Wren was drugged. Like how has she suddenly decided to trust these strange kidnappers. What is going on?!

    Foteha
    These Riggian people are so strange. This whole chapter has left me with even more questions than answers. I really just want to know what it is they want from Wren and how the hell they put her in that trance state. I like that you mention that if Wren were to die, they would simply go and get another human because it's like she isn't some important person. She isn't the savior of her people, she was just convenient. I like that so much!

    I'm so excited for your next chapter! I'm sorry it took me so long to finally get the chance to read your story! I'm so glad that I have though because it's spectacular and definitely worth taking my time on! Can't wait for more, seriously, I just cant!
    August 12th, 2017 at 10:55pm