An Open Mystery: The Vow of the Bright Light - Comments

@ Godmother
However i am thinking of going throw and editing a second time. Hence why i haven't updated. In so long

@ Godmother
Ok gona try to hit everything.
It was one of those hits thats connects with both jaw and eye. Like if the jaw swells enough the eye will turn black also. Ive seen one b4 pretty shocking to see.no teacher in the class. I cant really explain the shyness and immediate comfortableness with each other without giving too much of the story away, but trust me its a reason for that. What i can say is that from them kissing allows their powers to come about b4 they even get a chance to understand anything. Lastly, the smut was a previously written story that i had to edit. As for Jack not doing anything....he was under strict orders to do nothing more than keep them apart. As u can see their emotions are linked to their powers also. I hope that helps

The first chapter is really cute. It feels like Austin is experiencing his first real crush and to see how Cynthia has her guard up and isn't all Gaga over him is nice. It's cliche, but in a good way.

Usually he'd know if Jack was doing miscellaneous things like that, but the only thing he ever heard anymore was to stay away from Cynthia.

I think you meant mischievous not miscellaneous. This chapter seems a little rushed, mainly because nothing happens after he hits his friend. His friend just let him walk away which boys don't tend to do. If you were to go back and have them actually fight, you'd be able to delve in to Austins internal battle of losing his friend over this girl. Also, the fact that he wasn't sent to the principal or that a teacher didn't notice him punch his friend is weird too. You mention that jacks eye is bruised but he was punched in the jaw, that might need to be looked over as well.

Their first kiss is cute. What I don't understand is how Austin could be such a player and she be so inexperienced. From the way you write them, I feel like their roles should be reversed like he's so nervous and shy and she seems a bit more calm and ready for it all. I still want to know what the hell is up jacks ass already.

Oh ok so they have supernatural powers. Austin catching on fire was confusing, like that whole paragraph because I don't get why he suddenly got upset with Cynthia. Also, I don't believe people would suggest to one another to go to a "secluded area". That just sounds creepy lol maybe oh do you want to hang out in the old locker room? Then go in to explaining why that would be a good place like if they made a new locker room elsewhere so no one would come bother them or something idk.

Well you certainly can write smut lol I can't! I'm terrible at it! The only thing I noticed was at first, Jacks mate is named Skykar but towards the end you start to call her Liz. Other than that this chapter was pretty good. Very erotic lol